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Do you prefer to take risks and change in your life or not

Do you prefer to take risks and change in your life or not WnDk0
We live in a world that changes during the time, so every human being trys new things over time, but some people experience something different more than others. They are not afraid to take risks. From my standpoint, they are making the correct choice. Trying new things has been so since ancient times, partly due to human desires. There is no doubt that life without risk and trying new experiences will be absurd and boring. By and large, trying new ways is necessary for human beings. If humans did not take risks and try new ways, would we be able to fly? Were we still living in caves? Did we know anything about the internet? When you drive on a road, you know there is a destination, but your car lights only turn on a few meters away, but you continue, even if it is dark at night and the route is unknown, And that's exactly why you get to your destination. If we take our example from the last sentence, It can be concluded that the movement stops without taking risks. If you try new ways in your life, you will discover new talent in yourself. New talents make us new person. The next important issue is that people sometimes do not know exactly what they want to do. You have to have the courage to change and try different ways to reach your destination. keep in mind that you do not have to be great to get started. When we start and try for our goal, we become great at it. In conclusion, the new face of the modern world owes much to people who took risks and were not afraid of change. If you want to change your life, you should try new things.
We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a world that
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changes
during the time,
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so
every
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human
being
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "tries", the plural form of the noun 'try'?
trys
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new
things over time,
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but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
experience something
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different
more than others. They are not afraid to take
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risks
. From my standpoint, they are making the correct choice.

Trying
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new
things has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
since ancient times, partly due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
desires.

There is no doubt that life without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
and trying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
experiences will be absurd and boring. By and large, trying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
is necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings.

If
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humans
did not take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
and try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
, would we be able to
fly
? Were we
still
living in caves? Did we know anything about the internet?

When you drive on a road, you know there is a destination,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
your car lights
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
turn on a few meters away,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you continue, even if it is dark at night and the route is unknown, And that's exactly why you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to your destination. If we take our example from the last sentence, It can
be concluded
that the movement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
without taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
.

If you try
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new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
in your life, you will discover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
talent in yourself.
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New
talents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us
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new
person.

The
next
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important
issue is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
do not know exactly what they want to do. You
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
have the courage to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
and try
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to reach your destination.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
keep
in mind that you do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be great to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
. When we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
and try for our goal, we become great at it.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
face of the modern world owes much to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who took
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
and were not afraid of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
. If you want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
your life, you should try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things.
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IELTS essay Do you prefer to take risks and change in your life or not

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
297 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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