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Nowadays many young people spend their free time in shopping centers. This has a negative effect on youths and society.

Spending leisure time on shopping is becoming increasingly popular among younger generations nowadays. I agree with the belief that the activity of passing time in shopping malls has detrimental effects on both youths and society. This essay will discuss how this choice negatively impacts the individual and the society as a whole. Firstly, adults preferring to spend their free time roaming malls are more vulnerable to impulse buying, which means purchasing unnecessary items that leads to waste of money. A recent survey shows that, 69 percentage of students among a sample of 250, admitted that they overspend and tend to buy things which are least needed. Therefore, it is evident that shopping as a pass-time activity has harmful effects on youths. Apart from individuals, the action of choosing shopping malls to spend the spare time also influences the society also. People passing time shopping with friends become less productive, which hinders them from being intellectually strong. A recent research on people's creativity shows that, people who spend their free time reading books over going to shopping plazas tend to be less creative. To conclude, in line with the view stated above, it is evident that younger generations who prefer to shop during their spare time leads to money waste and it make's the community less productive.
Spending leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is becoming
increasingly
popular among younger generations nowadays. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the belief that the activity of passing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls has detrimental effects on both youths and society. This essay will discuss how this choice
negatively
impacts the individual and the society as a whole.
Firstly
, adults preferring to spend their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
roaming malls are more vulnerable to impulse buying, which means purchasing unnecessary items that leads to waste of money. A recent survey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that, 69 percentage of students among a sample of 250, admitted that they overspend and tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things which are least needed.
Therefore
, it is evident that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as a pass-time activity has harmful effects on youths. Apart from individuals, the action of choosing
If ‘choosing’ is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: “to shop”.
shopping
malls to spend the spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
also
influences the society
also
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
passing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
with friends become less productive, which hinders them from being
intellectually
strong. A recent research on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's creativity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who spend their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
reading books over going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
plazas tend to be less creative.
To conclude
, in line with the view stated above, it is evident that younger generations who prefer to shop during their spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
leads to money
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
waste and
it
Do not use ‘s with a verb. Did you mean “makes”?
make's
the community less productive.
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IELTS essay Nowadays many young people spend their free time in shopping centers. This has a negative effect on youths and society.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
216 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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