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Obesity is a serious problem in many countries, especially in rich countries. Discuss ways to solve the problem. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

These days, with the advent of urbanization and the rise in popularity of fast food, there have been accompanying issues with rising obesity rates especially in developed countries like England and the USA. This essay will discuss the main causes of obesity including junk food and lack of physical exercise. This essay will also suggest solutions to these problems including healthy food and regular exercise. To begin with, fast food in incredibly popular in a wealthy countries. due to the high levels of development in these countries, consumers possess more money and can therefore consume vast amount of junk food without diminishing money. Furthermore, lack of physical exercise because of sedentary lifestyle causes obesity among people. As a result, higher risk of diseases such as diabetes, cancer and so on could be seen on a person who is obessed. For example, a survey by WHO shows that the obesity rate is higher in urban areas compared to rural areas because city people eat more junk food and not habitual of physical work. Consequently, obesity rates are much higher in developed countries. Despite the severity of the obesity problem, there are number of ways in which developed countries could battle it more effectively. Firstly, maintaining a healthy diet helps people to overcome the issue of obesity. For instance, if government put pressure on fast food outlets to provide healthy alternatives to burgers, french fries and soft drinks then a person will become healthy. In addition, regular exercise makes a person fit and energetic. Moreover, public exercise initiatives could be advertised and promoted by the government. Hence, in order to reduce the weight one must include healthy food in the diet and do regular exercise. In conclusion, although, obesity is a serious issue in today's era, healthy food and physical exercise helps to overcome the issue.
These days, with the advent of urbanization and the rise in popularity of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, there have been accompanying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
with rising obesity rates
especially
in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like England and the USA. This essay will discuss the main causes of obesity including junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
. This essay will
also
suggest solutions to these problems including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and regular exercise.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in
incredibly
popular in a wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
due
to the high levels of development in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, consumers possess more money and can
therefore
consume vast amount of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
without diminishing money.
Furthermore
, lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of sedentary lifestyle causes obesity among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
As a result
, higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of diseases such as diabetes, cancer and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
on a person who is
Possible spelling mistake found.
obessed
.
For example
, a survey by WHO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the obesity rate is higher in urban areas compared to rural areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
city
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
eat more junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and not habitual of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
work.
Consequently
, obesity rates are much higher in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Despite the severity of the obesity problem, there are
It seems that an article is missing. Did you mean “a number of”?
number of
ways in which developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
could battle it more
effectively
.
Firstly
, maintaining a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to overcome the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
of obesity.
For instance
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
put pressure on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
outlets to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
alternatives to burgers, french fries and soft drinks then a person will become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
.
In addition
, regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a person fit and energetic.
Moreover
, public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
initiatives could
be advertised
and promoted by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Hence
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the weight one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in the diet and do regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
In conclusion
, although, obesity is a serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to overcome the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
.
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IELTS essay Obesity is a serious problem in many countries, especially in rich countries. Discuss ways to solve the problem. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
304 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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