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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Cars have made a greater impact on society than airplanes.

Facilities, which make ready by society to people's lives are an important factor to make the best life and best communication. Some people believe cars have powerful impacts on society than airplanes, others believe otherwise. I personally agree with the latest group because of two main reasons which I will explore below. First, in this day and age of communication and transportation time is the golden source for everyone. Authorities have to use the goods and services in the best way to reach success among the competitors' countries. The most important source of income for a country is through the export and import of goods and services. To achieve success in this way and compete among other countries, delivery in the shortest time. Therefore the state should use vehicles such as airplanes than cars. By this method, we can gain the best feedback as soon as possible. After that senior officials can use the money collected through this guaranteed source of income can be spent in the development and prosperity of the society. Second, pollution is one of the big problems for the government. When people use airplanes than cars for travel, we will see a pollution reduction. Therefore, the state which the budget allocated to resolve the pollution can be spent on charity works and put a curb on the overgrowing unemployment rate and no one will go to bed on an empty stomach. This is a very positive effect on life expectancy and society. For example, with this limited budget, which reaches from controlling pollution by using airplanes than cars, job and education opportunities of society are increasing, so that can positively affect on the quality of life and social component is increase. In conclusion, using airplanes than cars has a very strong and effectively positive on society. Not only can it help to gain feedback quickly but also it causes to increase the quality of life in society.
Facilities, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ready by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
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lives
are an
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important
factor to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
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best
communication.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
have powerful impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
airplanes
, others believe
otherwise
. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latest group
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of two main reasons which I will explore below.

First
, in this day and age of communication and transportation time is the golden source for everyone. Authorities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
way to reach success among the competitors' countries. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
source of income for a country is through the export and import of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services. To achieve success in this way and compete among other countries, delivery in the shortest time.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
the state should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
vehicles such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
airplanes
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. By this method, we can gain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
feedback as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible. After that senior officials can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the money collected through this guaranteed source of income can
be spent
in the development and prosperity of the society.

Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problems for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. When
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
airplanes
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
for travel, we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
reduction.
Therefore
, the state which the budget allocated to resolve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
can
be spent
on charity works and put a curb on the overgrowing unemployment rate and no one will go to bed on an empty stomach. This is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
For example
, with this limited budget, which reaches from controlling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
airplanes
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, job and education opportunities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
are increasing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that can
positively
Did you mean “effect” (consequence, outcome, result)?
affect
on the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and social component is increase.

In conclusion
, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
airplanes
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strong and
effectively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to gain feedback
quickly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it causes to increase the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
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IELTS essay Cars have made a greater impact on society than airplanes.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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