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Nowadays, many young people don't seem to like working confined to offices or factories. They always love typical jobs such as: traveling a lot, interacting with many people outside of society, or even just working by thinking. What do you th

Nowadays, many young people don't seem to like working confined to offices or factories. They always love typical jobs such as: traveling a lot, interacting with many people outside of society, or even just working by thinking. What do you th gbxAD
Nowadays, many young people don't seem to like working confined to offices or factories. They always love typical jobs such as: traveling a lot, interacting with many people outside of society, or even just working by thinking. About this change, I guess the young people nowadays was watching to much information or fake life of other people on social media. They have thought that they want to be the owner of themself is a best thing, they can do what ever they going to do or they had heard about the boring of the officers and had worked hard jobs in factories. There are many teenagers like to do freelance works as a test to because they want to choose the right job to work with for a long time. And that freelance work allows young people to interact with more people, do many different things and still have a lot of free time and especially manage their own finances. Although they may difficulty when they can't control their work or find a job or the salary is not stable, it may help them gain more experience in their career. I think working in an office, factory or freelance job all need to be suitable for themselves and responsible for their work and that job will bring them a stable source of income.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't seem to like working confined to offices or factories. They always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
typical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
such as: traveling a lot, interacting with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
outside of society, or even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
working by thinking. About this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, I guess the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays was watching
Did you mean "too"?
to
much information or fake life of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on social media. They have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that they want to be the owner of
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
is
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
best thing, they can do what ever
Did you mean "they're going", "they are going", or "they were going"?
they going
to
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
do or
they had heard about the boring of the officers and had worked
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in factories. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
like to do freelance works as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to choose the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with for a long time. And that freelance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to interact with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things and
still
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
free time and
especially
manage their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
finances. Although they
The word 'difficulty' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
may difficulty
when they can't control their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or the salary is not stable, it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them gain more experience in their career. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
working in an office, factory or freelance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
all need to be suitable for themselves and responsible for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
will bring them a stable source of income.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, many young people don't seem to like working confined to offices or factories. They always love typical jobs such as: traveling a lot, interacting with many people outside of society, or even just working by thinking. What do you th

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
223 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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