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Nowadays many young people deliberately damage public places. What are the cause and solutions?

Nowadays many young people deliberately damage public places. What are the cause and solutions? gg01
In this demographic era, Public places are intentionally being damaged by young pupils, An old adage says” Empty hands is devils workshops” in this essay we will not only explore what are the reasons for this damage but also provide relevant solution. To commence with. It is common to found that pupils at this age are more energetic and when they are not engage in any activities they tend to use this power in wrong directing by vandalizing public places. Secondly peer pressure exhort them to vandalize public places. Thirdly social media plays an vital role in molding lives of youth career. Due to minimal internet charges pupils spent generous amount of time online by playing or watching violent games and videos. which encourages them to destroy or take part in creating public violence. For instance, As per the report conducted by Mumbai police in November department 57% of the public damages are done by this age group. On the contrary, To tackle this increasing issue government should spread public awareness and enact strict law and regulation. Firstly, Government should provide free education. If youth are well educated they would think twice before conducting such activity. Secondly Government It department should keep an strict eye on such online games and videos that spread violence and enforce strict law and regulation who fail to obey them For example, As per the survey conducted by nation institute of management, India More than 2, 00, 000 teenagers were part of public awareness education which was conducted in November 2019. In conclusion, engaging young people in physical sport, good, better and government policies would do a lot of good in preventing young people from deliberately damaging public places.
In this demographic era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are
intentionally
being damaged
by young pupils, An
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
adage says” Empty hands is devils workshops” in this essay we will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
explore what are the reasons for this damage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
provide relevant solution.

To commence with. It is common to found that pupils at this age are more energetic and when they are not
Consider using a past participle here: "engaged".
engage
in any activities they tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this power in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
directing by vandalizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
Secondly
peer pressure exhort them to vandalize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
Thirdly
social media plays
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
vital role in molding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of youth career. Due to minimal internet charges pupils spent generous amount of time online by playing or watching violent games and videos.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
which
encourages them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
violence.
For instance
, As per the report conducted by Mumbai police in November department 57% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
damages
are done
by this age group.

On the contrary
, To tackle this increasing issue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should spread
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
awareness and enact strict law and regulation.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should provide free education. If youth are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
conducting such activity.
Secondly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'It'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
It department
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
strict eye on such online games and videos that spread violence and enforce strict law and regulation who fail to obey them
For example
, As per the survey conducted by nation institute of management, India More than 2, 00, 000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
were part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
awareness education which
was conducted
in November 2019.

In conclusion
, engaging young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in physical sport,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, better and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
policies would do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
The usual preposition for this expression is "at". Did you mean, "good at preventing"?
good in preventing
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
deliberately
damaging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays many young people deliberately damage public places. What are the cause and solutions?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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