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Nowadays many young people are attracted to dangerous sports. What makes these activities so attractive? What measures should be taken to regulate such sports and minimize their risks?

Nowadays many young people are attracted to dangerous sports. What makes these activities so attractive? What measures should be taken to regulate such sports and minimize their risks? pLgnd
Today’s Youth are more into life risking sports as they feel it’s time for them to do adventurous things without knowing the consequences; However, by following all safety measures and guidelines we can participate. We will discuss why youth are attracted and safety measures to be taken in below paragraph. Many people are drawn to these life-threatening sports like bungee jumping, Scooba diving paragliding and racing because they are passionate about it or they want to overcome their fears. Young adults get influenced by the people around them or from social media platforms and with high spirit they want to experience all these sports. For example: Youth who watch celebrities or friends attempting such sports gets motivated from them. The other reason can be they want to defeat their phobia and become strong both physically and mentally. For example: some people have fear from heights, water, fire, car whatever it can be, to get rid of those fears they tend to participate. On the other side of the coin, these sports are highly risky at the cost of their lives but can get experience to these sports only after ensuring all security measures are followed and government should provide guidelines. Before jumping into any sport, we should have complete understanding on what will be the possibilities and to check if rules are followed. Furthermore, government should take an active role in framing rules and guidelines for such risky sports. For example: Giving approval to sport agencies who are conducting or eligibility criteria for participants. In conclusion, these sports can be attempted by adults with proper awareness on it and following all the guidelines and security measures provided by the government.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
’s Youth are more into life risking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
as they feel it’s time for them to do adventurous things without knowing the consequences;
However
, by following all safety
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guidelines
we can participate. We will discuss why youth
are attracted
and safety
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
to
be taken
in below paragraph.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are drawn
to these life-threatening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
like bungee jumping,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Scooba
diving paragliding and racing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are passionate about
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it or
they want to overcome their fears. Young adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
influenced by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around them or from social media platforms and with high spirit they want to experience all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
For example
: Youth who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
celebrities or friends attempting such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
motivated from them. The other reason can be they want to defeat their phobia and become strong both
physically
and mentally.
For example
:
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have fear from heights, water, fire, car whatever it can be, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of those fears they tend to participate.

On the other side of the coin, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
highly
risky at the cost of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
experience to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
after ensuring all security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
are followed
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guidelines
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
jumping into any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, we should have complete understanding on what will be the possibilities and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
are followed
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take an active role in framing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guidelines
for such risky
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
For example
: Giving approval to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
agencies who are conducting or eligibility criteria for participants.

In conclusion
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can
be attempted
by adults with proper awareness on it and following all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guidelines
and security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measures
provided by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays many young people are attracted to dangerous sports. What makes these activities so attractive? What measures should be taken to regulate such sports and minimize their risks?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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