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Nowadays, many students cannot complete high school. Why is this? What can be done to improve the situation?

Nowadays, many students cannot complete high school. Why is this? What can be done to improve the situation? R2OAM
There is no denying that in recent years, some teenagers drop out of senior school. It is obvious that the issue comes from different aspects; however, it can be solved by several measurements. It is evident that there are a number of reasons why adolescents might not complete the highschool program. First of all, a major factor is financial burden because some parents do not receive enough salary to make ends meet, let alone allocate money to their offsprings' learning. Moreover, due to predicament, many children ought to have jobs early, which brings lack of time and energy for them to concentrate in lessons. Another origin belongs to parental motivations and the environment, where kids grow. In particular, if children stay in places where surrounding people do not focus on academics, and have insufficient encouragement from relatives; gradually, they might develop a mindset: study is not actually indispensable. Due to these concerns, some measures should be conducted to alleviate this issue. First and foremost, the government and schools should enforce some financial policies to help poor students by giving scholarships or uniforms and books. For instance, annually, Vietnamese students, who stay in poverty, often receive money assistance from school. Additionally, they can run campaigns about how important a high school degree and knowledge are to increase teenagers’ awareness. Furthermore, mothers and fathers should encourage their daughters or sons to attend classes at school by providing rewards when their kids get high achievement. In conclusion, although there are enormous reasons why adolescents cannot travel to high school, some approaches can solve it. Hence, I think students should graduate from senior school due to the significance of knowledge and degree.
There is no denying that in recent years,
some
teenagers
drop out of senior
school
. It is obvious that the issue
comes
from
different
aspects;
however
, it can
be solved
by several measurements.

It is evident that there are a number of reasons why adolescents might not complete the
highschool
program.
First of all
, a major factor is financial burden
because
some
parents do not receive
enough
salary to
make
ends
meet
,
let
alone allocate money to their
offsprings
' learning.
Moreover
, due to predicament,
many
children ought to have jobs early, which brings lack of time and energy for them to concentrate in lessons. Another origin belongs to parental motivations and the environment, where kids grow.
In particular
, if children stay in places where surrounding
people
do not focus on academics, and have insufficient encouragement from relatives;
gradually
, they might develop a mindset: study is not actually indispensable.

Due to these concerns,
some
measures should
be conducted
to alleviate this issue.
First
and foremost, the
government
and
schools
should enforce
some
financial policies to
help
poor students by giving scholarships or uniforms and books.
For instance
,
annually
, Vietnamese students, who stay in poverty,
often
receive money assistance from
school
.
Additionally
, they can run campaigns about how
important
a high
school
degree and knowledge are to increase
teenagers
’ awareness.
Furthermore
, mothers and fathers should encourage their daughters or sons to attend classes at
school
by providing rewards when their kids
get
high achievement.

In conclusion
, although there are enormous reasons why adolescents cannot travel to high
school
,
some
approaches can solve it.
Hence
, I
think
students should graduate from senior
school
due to the significance of knowledge and degree.

IELTS essay Nowadays, many students cannot complete high school. Why is this? What can be done to improve the situation?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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