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Nowadays many people work from home. Some think it is beneficial while others think it may distract the family routine. What is your opinion? v.2

Nowadays many people work from home. Some think it is beneficial while others think it may distract the family routine. What is your opinion? v. 2
Modern technology has allowed many employees to telecommute. Some workers feel that home working makes them more relaxed and productive, whereas others believed that it makes them unable to concentrate due to numerous distractions at home. However, in my opinion, tele-working may offer many advantages, such as less stressful and healthier lifestyle, in addition to allowing people to spend more time with families and friends. Employees who work from home enjoy a flexible and healthy lifestyle. They are able to schedule their working hours at any time of the day, and they can have more breaks from work. Moreover, eating a healthy diet would become easier as they are more likely to eat home-cooked meals rather than fast food. Furthermore, telecommuters would have more time to exercise and go to the gym. A recent survey published by the American government showed that people who work from home are less likely to suffer from backache. Hence, tele-working could offer many health benefits. Another advantage of working from home is having more life-work balance, as employees spend more time with families and friends. Consequently, they experience less work tension than those who work from a central workplace like offices. For instance, a friend of mine is a computer programmer, and lately she has established her office in her home. Now she spends more time with her children and her family. Moreover, I have noticed that she has become more relaxed and feels content about her life. To conclude, I believe that tele-working could offer many benefits for people, such as increasing productivity, providing less stressful, more balanced, and healthier life.
Modern technology has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employees to telecommute.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
workers feel that home working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them more relaxed and productive, whereas others believed that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them unable to concentrate due to numerous distractions at home.
However
, in my opinion,
Possible spelling mistake found.
tele-working
may offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
stressful and healthier lifestyle,
in addition
to allowing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with families and friends.

Employees who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home enjoy a flexible and healthy lifestyle. They are able to schedule their working hours at any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of the day, and they can have more breaks from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Moreover
, eating a healthy diet would become easier as they are more likely to eat home-cooked meals
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food.
Furthermore
, telecommuters would have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to exercise and go to the gym. A recent survey published by the American
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
likely to suffer from backache.
Hence
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
tele-working
could offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health benefits.

Another advantage of working from home is having more life-work balance, as employees spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with families and friends.
Consequently
, they experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
tension than those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from a central workplace like offices.
For instance
, a friend of mine is a computer programmer, and lately she has established her office in her home.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
she spends more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with her children and her family.
Moreover
, I have noticed that she has become more relaxed and feels content about her life.

To conclude
, I believe that
Possible spelling mistake found.
tele-working
could offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, such as increasing productivity, providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
stressful, more balanced, and healthier life.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Nowadays many people work from home. Some think it is beneficial while others think it may distract the family routine. What is your opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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