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Nowadays many people with families leave their country to work abroad. Do you think the benefits of this trend outweigh the disadvantages for the families? Give your opinion and include any relevant examples

Nowadays many people with families leave their country to work abroad. Do you think the benefits of this trend outweigh the disadvantages for the families? Give your opinion and include any relevant examples DNygo
As we can see a number of community thesedays migrate to foreign regions with there family to work. Though familes has its fair share of drawbacks, i feel that the advantages are far greater. It is agreed that there are some drawbacks that family members had to face at which they migrate to abroad. First and foremost is the climate condition which a few section cannot be fit. Indeed we can observe that foreighn regions have different climate conditions, at which many people cannot adopt. An example need to be stated that, a number of community nowadays choose to migrate on atlantic regions for their better work and life, whereas the extreme cold climate are very deep at the peak time at which people who are not suitable will suffer with their health condition and working efficiency. Perhaps community who live abroad with family shall concern about the weather condition that suits others to opt. On account of the above given negative aspects i am of the opinion that living with family in foreign countries is extremly a positive development. The first of this is people who came with family to abroad would get a better life. Infact family can achive a standard living lifestyle and can improve their econimc conditions while they migrate to a developed region. By explaining with an example we can say that, today a number of community who adopt developed regions from their own region is mainly looking with the advanced benefits. Normally we can observe that in developed countries people often get free health care, better education for kids and moreover people can enjoy the new culture. Therefore this points indicate that the merits of living with family in abroad cannot be sidelined. To sum up with a personal level i am convinced that although there are certain drawbacks for family who live in foreign region, my view is that the advantages put forward are far more in number and it is anticipated that this trend is likely to continue.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
Possible spelling mistake found.
thesedays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migrate
to foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
with there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to work. Though
Possible spelling mistake found.
familes
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
share of drawbacks,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
feel that the advantages are far greater.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members had to face at which they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migrate
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
.
First
and foremost is the climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
which a
Possible agreement error. The noun section seems to be countable; consider using: "few sections".
few section
cannot
be fit
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Indeed
we can observe that
Possible spelling mistake found.
foreighn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
climate conditions, at which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot adopt. An example need to
be stated
that, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
nowadays choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migrate
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
atlantic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
for their better work and life, whereas the extreme
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
climate are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
deep at the peak time at which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are not suitable will suffer with their health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
and working efficiency. Perhaps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
shall concern about the weather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
that suits others to opt.

On account of the above
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am of the opinion that living with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in foreign countries is
Possible spelling mistake found.
extremly
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development. The
first
of this is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
came with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better life.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Infact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
can
Possible spelling mistake found.
achive
a standard living lifestyle and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
econimc
conditions while they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migrate
to a developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
region
. By explaining with an example we can say that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
adopt developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
region
is
mainly
looking with the advanced benefits.
Normally
we can observe that in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
free health care, better education for kids and
moreover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can enjoy the new culture.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
this points indicate that the merits of living with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
cannot
be sidelined
.

To sum up with a personal level
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am convinced
that although there are certain drawbacks for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
region
, my view is that the advantages put forward are far more in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
and it
is anticipated
that this trend is likely to continue.
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IELTS essay Nowadays many people with families leave their country to work abroad. Do you think the benefits of this trend outweigh the disadvantages for the families? Give your opinion and include any relevant examples

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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