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Nowadays, many people use money substitutes like a credit card to aid in transactions. It is certainly easier and more convenient to purchase an item with just a single card. This is why most people drown in huge personal debts that they clearly are unable to repay.

Nowadays, many people use money substitutes like a credit card to aid in transactions. It is certainly easier and more convenient to purchase an item with just a single card. This is why most people drown in huge personal debts that they clearly are unable to repay. 0wjJ9
Nowadays, many people use money substitutes like a credit card to aid in transactions. It is certainly easier and more convenient to purchase an item with just a single card. This is why most people drown in huge personal debts that they clearly are unable to repay. Some are of the opinion that banking institutions should make it harder for individuals to borrow large amounts of money. In this essay, I will discuss some of the considerations banks and the government should take into account before implementing complex procedures and policies. First of all, people without basic financial knowledge tend to overspend on items they do not necessarily need, unaware of the possibility of repayment and the consequences of their action. For instance, they place their happiness on the amount of items they are able to purchase which slowly accumulates up their debt. This materialistic attitude is clearly not the right way one should act. Financially illiterate citizens should not easily be allowed to borrow a large sum of money. However, it would most certainly be unwise to limit everyone to such a right as there are investors and owners of big firms who would need plenty of money to wisely invest. This is actually a great way to benefit and contribute to the growth of our economy and the employment sector. Therefore, I believe it is essential to implement basic financial and budget management classes in the school curriculum and education system to ensure citizens can become rational consumers of the economy. Through that, bank clerks can effectively decide if they should be allowed to borrow a gigantic quantity of money or not. Furthermore, I believe that banking institutions should make allowances for personal circumstances. There are some individuals who desperately need the money to pay off their medical fees or even student loan debt. For many, their very livelihoods and future depend on the ability of bank clerks to allow them to get access to cash. These individuals would resort to criminal activities without money. In addition, before placing an order or enforcing policies to limit one’s ability to acquire money, an individual’s credit rate and loyalty to the bank should be looked into. By giving trustworthy clients more opportunities to borrow money, it gives rise to the reputation of the banks as valuing their customers through excellent customer service. In conclusion, I truly believe that it should not be made difficult for banks to lend citizens a large number of cash resources unless financial literacy and personal factors are accommodated. The right education can certainly bring down the number of prospective debts and ensure the nation’s prosperity.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
substitutes like a credit card to aid in transactions. It is

certainly
easier and more convenient to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
an item with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a single card. This is why

most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
drown in huge personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
debts
that they
clearly
are unable to repay.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
are of

the opinion that banking institutions should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it harder for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borrow
large

amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. In this essay, I will discuss
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
considerations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banks
and the

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take into account
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
implementing complex procedures and policies.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
without basic financial knowledge tend to overspend on items they do not

necessarily
need, unaware of the possibility of repayment and the consequences of their action.
For instance
, they place their happiness on the amount of items they are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase


which
slowly
accumulates up their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
debt
. This materialistic attitude is
clearly
not the right way one

should act.
Financially
illiterate citizens should not
easily
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borrow
a large sum of

money.
However
, it would most
certainly
be unwise to limit everyone to such a right as there are

investors and owners of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
firms who would need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
wisely
invest. This is

actually a great way to benefit and contribute to the growth of our economy and the employment

sector.
Therefore
, I believe it is essential to implement basic financial and budget management

classes in the school curriculum and education system to ensure citizens can become rational

consumers of the economy. Through that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bank
clerks can
effectively
decide if they should be

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borrow
a gigantic quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
or not.

Furthermore
, I believe that banking institutions should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
allowances for personal

circumstances. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
who
desperately
need the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to pay off their

medical fees or even student loan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
debt
. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
, their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
livelihoods and future depend on

the ability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bank
clerks to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
access to cash. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
would resort
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
to


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
criminal
activities without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
placing an order or enforcing policies to limit

one’s ability to acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
credit rate and loyalty to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bank
should
be looked
into. By giving trustworthy clients more opportunities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borrow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, it gives rise to the

reputation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banks
as valuing their customers through excellent customer service.

In conclusion
, I
truly
believe that it should not
be made
difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banks
to lend citizens
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
cash resources unless financial literacy and personal factors
are accommodated
.

The right education can
certainly
bring down the number of prospective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
debts
and ensure the

nation’s prosperity.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, many people use money substitutes like a credit card to aid in transactions. It is certainly easier and more convenient to purchase an item with just a single card. This is why most people drown in huge personal debts that they clearly are unable to repay.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
440 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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