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nowadays, many people spend a large percentage of their day working.

nowadays, many people spend a large percentage of their day working. RRwLo
nowadays with many new kinds of workplaces, many people spend a large percentage of their day working. Now i will show you the problems and solutions below to begin with, working too much causes many problems. most peoplr are being forced to work by their boss as all boss want the company improve they can get more money. Or some of them choose to work more to get enough money to help their families buy supplies to survice because thisngs are becoming more and more expensieve. Moreover, working too much makes their bodies tired. Everything needs to be rested, even a machine. As long as they spend all the time working they will soon have no power left. This causes person become stressed, ill stomachache, etc. It shows that about 40% of people working too hard died because of being too stressed and some kinds to the death. It is a way they choose to release them so how can these problems be solved? Well, people should make themselves a schedule so that they can manage their time carefully. Put in their some time to relax, doing some yoga, listening to music or reading a book will help you relax. Try not to work hard for all the weeks, have a day rest and you will feel how good it brings to you In conclusion, as people choose to work hard, they must find a way to relax. This is how people become stronger and healthier despite their stressed
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
nowadays
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new kinds of workplaces,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend a large percentage of their day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
Did you mean "I"?
i
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
you the problems and solutions below

to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
too much causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
most
Possible spelling mistake found.
peoplr
are
being forced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
by their boss as all boss want the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more money. Or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
supplies to
Possible spelling mistake found.
survice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Possible spelling mistake found.
thisngs
are becoming more and more
Possible spelling mistake found.
expensieve
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
too much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their bodies tired. Everything needs to
be rested
, even a machine.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
long as they spend all the time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
have no power
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
. This causes person become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
, ill stomachache, etc. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that about 40% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of being too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kinds to the death. It is a way they choose to release them

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
how can these problems
be solved
? Well,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
themselves a schedule
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can manage their time
carefully
. Put in their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time to relax, doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
yoga, listening to music or reading a book will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you relax. Try not to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for all the weeks, have a day rest and you will feel how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
it brings to you

In conclusion
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
find a way to relax. This is how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become stronger and healthier despite their
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
stressed
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IELTS essay nowadays, many people spend a large percentage of their day working.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
248 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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