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Nowadays, many people have to work longer time and they feel more stressful than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their life easier? v.1

Nowadays, many people have to work longer time and they feel more stressful than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their life easier? v. 1
In this modern era, stress is a big problem today. While some stress is a normal part of the organisation, excessive tension can decrease the efficiency of the employee and can reduce their mental and physical health. This essay will discuss the reasons why this is happening and put forward several solutions for this issue. There are many causes of pressure in the workplace. Firstly, employers wants more work, so they give unrealistic deadlines to the company person to complete the projects. In Delhi, for example, in the year 2018 as per Time newspaper survey, the tension level has been drastically increased as compared to previous years. Moreover, lack of proper training and poor working relationship with the management is also one of the reasons. The Employee may feel bullied or harassed, if he is not given work as per his experience. For instance, in most of the startup companies of the world, no formal training is given to the employees because of limited budget of the company. Due to cut throat competition, employers are considered about their own work only and they do not care about the health of the employees While the problems may seem intractable, there are solutions available. Firstly, Employers can take steps to cope with the office stress. They should diagnose what is causing strain, as it would definitely affect their business directly. From time to time, they should monitor the workload. If overwork is causing tension in the business, then they should try to reduce people's workload. They should ensure their targets are challenging, but realistic. In addition to it, weekly games in the office, proper holiday entitlement and small perks fro the employer would definitely make the bond stronger among them. For example, if any, of the employee is sick, it is the responsibility of the management to get in touch. They should take a sympathetic approach towards their staff member. In conclusion, while the issues are evidently clear, there are measures that can be taken to alleviate them. Stress in the organisation is an issue of great concern. The Employer should check workload among his staff regularly and should take necessary action, as it can reduce the efficiency of the staff which is ultimately detrimental to the company.
In this modern era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
is a normal part of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
, excessive tension can decrease the efficiency of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their mental and physical health. This essay will discuss the reasons why this is happening and put forward several solutions for this issue.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
causes of pressure in the workplace.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
wants more work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they give unrealistic deadlines to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
person to complete the projects. In Delhi,
for example
, in the year 2018 as per Time newspaper survey, the tension level has been
drastically
increased as compared to previous years.
Moreover
, lack of proper training and poor working relationship with the management is
also
one of the reasons. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Employee
may feel bullied or harassed, if he is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
work as per his experience.
For instance
, in most of the startup
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
of the world, no formal training is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of limited budget of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. Due to
'cut throat' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "cut-throat".
cut throat
competition,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
are
Did you mean simply "considered their"? You do not need the word "about" here.
considered about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
work
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
only and
they do not care about the health of the employees

While the problems may seem intractable, there are solutions available.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Employers
can take steps to cope with the office
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
. They should diagnose what is causing strain, as it would definitely affect their business
directly
. From time to time, they should monitor the workload. If overwork is causing tension in the business, then they should try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's workload. They should ensure their targets are challenging,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
realistic.
In addition
to it, weekly games in the office, proper holiday entitlement and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
perks
Did you mean "for" or "from"?
fro
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
would definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the bond stronger among them.
For example
, if any, of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
is sick, it is the responsibility of the management to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in touch. They should take a sympathetic approach towards their staff member.

In conclusion
, while the issues are
evidently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, there are measures that can
be taken
to alleviate them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Stress
in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
is an issue of great concern. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Employer
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
workload among his staff
regularly
and should take necessary action, as it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the efficiency of the staff which is
ultimately
detrimental to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay Nowadays, many people have to work longer time and they feel more stressful than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their life easier? v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
376 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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