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Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of children playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of children playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects? most of people today have internet access to electronic devices on large scale and many children play electronic games. In today’s fast paced world more and more the utilizing of internet access in all life issues. This essay will discuss the risk hazards of children playing computerized games and how to shrink this phenomena? Albeit the networking access is being popularity to use in all our life matters, have many side effects on children, which could be destructive to their ability of expressing themselves and social skill, indeed children playing games for long periods, can be have directly effect to their characters, which is increased the potential of being have aggressive manner towards their society and will make the lack of confidence, as well as the high probability to have autism disorder in addition reduce their concentration capacity, hence to impacts on their academic progress and educational skills. moreover the networking games have negative impacts on their mental and health of our children. The networking access could be effect on positive way, if we limit their uses for children, in particular we can give them a limit access during the week for specific time, furthermore parents have to engage them with playing games, this approach, particularly will set healthy limits. In conclusion, free internet access to our children will rise game addiction, this essay discussed the negative aspects of using playing games for long periods and how have directly impacts to their communication skills and their mental state furthermore, provide a solutions for reduce their harmful effects through engaging approach and limit internet access.
Nowadays
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many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
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access
to computers on a wide basis and
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
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children
play computer games.

What are the
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negative
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impacts
of
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children
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playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and what can
be done
to minimize the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects?

most of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
have internet
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access
to electronic devices on large scale and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
play electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
paced world more and more the utilizing of internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
in all life issues. This essay will discuss the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
hazards of
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children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computerized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and how to shrink
Did you mean "these"?
this
phenomena?

Albeit the networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
is being popularity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in all our life matters, have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
side effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, which could be destructive to their ability of expressing themselves and social
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skill
,
indeed
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children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
for long periods, can be
Consider using the past participle "had"?
have
directly
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effect
to their characters, which
is increased
the potential of being
Consider using a past participle here: "had".
have
aggressive manner towards their society and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the lack of confidence,
as well
as the high probability to have autism disorder
in addition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their concentration capacity,
hence
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
on their academic progress and educational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
moreover
the networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
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impacts
on their mental and health of our children.

The networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
could be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way, if we limit their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
for
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children
,
in particular
we can give them a limit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
during the week for specific time,
furthermore
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
engage them with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, this approach,
particularly
will set healthy limits.

In conclusion
, free internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will rise game addiction, this essay discussed the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of using
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playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
for long periods and how have
directly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
to their communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and their mental state
furthermore
, provide
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a solution" or simply "solutions"?
a solutions
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their harmful effects through engaging approach and limit internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of children playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
304 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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