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Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of children playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

technology plays a vital role in every human being's life, from from to end of the day everyone use technological gadgets like toaster, microwave, mobile, computer, laptop and many more. in early life teenagers are addicted to these technologies like computer and spend most of the time on playing video games that may lead some adverse affects. excessive use of computer can cause enormous problems that can face by children. . firstly, most of the computer do not have anti glare glass on screen so this may originate lose of eye sight, high intraocular pressure, itching and redness in eyes and so on. secondly, over usage of computer for video games change someone's behavior like in games you get more violent, angry, frustrated and low confident because your player is killed or got failed. last but not least, spending half of the time on video games people got isolate from family and become less socialized. according to the research conducted by Australia, 70% of crime is conducted by teenagers because they get ideas from video games. to overcome this problem family and government can help to each other. for instance, parents should limit the time for the use of computer like 2-3 hours in a day. moreover, spend more time with their children so that they do not get any time to play video games. on the other hand, government should launch some new type of computers that have anti glare screen and introduce some age restricted games. to sum up, spending time on playing video games cause many health issues but with the help of family and government bodies this problem can be cooperated.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
technology
plays a vital role in every human being's life,
Possible typo: you repeated a word
from from
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the day everyone
The pronoun ‘everyone’ is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: “uses”, “used”.
use
technological gadgets like toaster, microwave, mobile, computer, laptop and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
in
early life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are addicted
to these technologies like computer and spend most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
that may lead
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adverse affects.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computer can cause enormous problems that can face by children.
Don’t put a space before the full stop.
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
firstly
, most of the computer do not have anti glare glass on screen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this may originate lose of
This word is usually spelt together: “eyesight”.
eye sight
, high intraocular pressure, itching and redness in eyes and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
secondly
, over usage of computer for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
someone's behavior like in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more violent, angry, frustrated and low confident
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
your player
is killed
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
failed.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, spending half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
isolate from family and become less socialized.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
according
to the research conducted by Australia, 70% of crime
is conducted
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
to
overcome this problem family and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to each other.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
for
instance, parents should limit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computer like 2-3 hours in a day.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
moreover
, spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
on
the other hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should launch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
new type of computers that have anti glare screen and introduce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
age restricted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
to
sum up, spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
health issues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of family and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
bodies this problem can
be cooperated
.

IELTS essay Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of children playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
275 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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