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The number of cars has increased significantly in major cities. What problems does this cause and what are some solutions to these problems?

Nowadays cars have become a basic necessity in our day to day life and hence their number has grown large especially in metro cities.  This enormous increase in four wheelers has led to various problems. This essay will discuss some of the problems associated with this issue and put forward some solutions for the same. The first and foremost problem caused by the increase in the number of cars is traffic congestion in metro cities. Because cars have become cheap more and more people are buying them and this in turn leads to more traffic. Tata Nano launched by Tata motors in India in year 2000 has helped a large number of middle class families to own their car. The second problem linked with on road cars is air pollution which causes health hazards at a high rate. Air quality in metro cities has degraded so badly that it is very difficult to breathe in these urban areas. A survey conducted by the government of; always write the government of Delhi in year 2015 showed increased number of asthma patients due to poor air quality. Solutions to the aforementioned problems / the problems discussed above could be to improve the quality of public transportation so that people will prefer to opt for metro or bus services instead of their private vehicles. Secondly there should be a ban on vehicles causing air pollution above a threshold value. The government should impose heavy fines on people breaking these norms. To conclude, the increase in the number of cars causes air pollution and traffic congestion in cities. Improving the reliability of public transport is the best possible solution to this problem.
Nowadays
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cars
have become a basic necessity in our
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
life and
hence
their
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number
has grown large
especially
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
metro
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cities
.  This enormous increase in four wheelers has led to various
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problems
. This essay will discuss
If the text is a generality, ‘of the’ is not necessary.
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
associated with this issue and put forward
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions for the same.

The
first
and foremost
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problem
caused by the increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
is traffic congestion in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
metro
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
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cars
have become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are buying them and this in turn leads to more traffic. Tata
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Nano
launched by
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Tata motors
in India in year 2000 has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
a large
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number
of middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
families to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
their car.

The second
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problem
linked with on road
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cars
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution which causes health hazards at a high rate.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Air
quality in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
metro
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
has degraded
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
badly
that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to breathe in these urban areas. A survey conducted by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of; always write the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of Delhi in year 2015
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of asthma patients due to poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
quality.

Solutions to the aforementioned
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problems
/ the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
discussed above could be to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of public transportation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will prefer to opt for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
metro
or bus services
instead
of their private vehicles.
Secondly
there should be a ban on vehicles causing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution above a threshold value. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should impose heavy fines on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
breaking these norms.

To conclude
, the increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution and traffic congestion in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Improving the reliability of public transport is the best possible solution to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.

IELTS essay The number of cars has increased significantly in major cities. What problems does this cause and what are some solutions to these problems?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
278 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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