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Write about the following topic. Nowadays many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

After the birth of the digital age, it opened many doors for people to explore and a big aspect of technology that kept everyone getting hooked onto it is its entertainment value. One specific area to this and which children love to dwell the most is playing computer games. While some argue that playing computer games will bear negative consequences to children, others beg to differ. On one hand, playing computer games can enhance their critical thinking and focus because there are games that require the higher cognitive ability to pass any obstacles or level up thus exercising these functions which could be useful in real life. In a more practical sense, the world is now in the digital age and these games will gear them into knowing computer literacy which will become a fundamental skill in the future. Also, playing video games for children will open doors for them to meet new friends and build connections. As there are now online communities that are built for different games and are welcoming peers to join and discuss strategies or giving tips to win a game or just to meet new friends. On the other hand, children playing computer games could have negative consequences as well such as getting addicted to them which could result in decreased performance in school. Furthermore, children will be exposed to violent behaviors and explicit content as there is an increasing number of games that show killings, gruesome effects, and/or objectifying women. Lastly, when children get addicted to playing computer games, they will have lesser physical activity thus leading to obesity and cardiovascular diseases when they grow up. It is already proven with different studies that having a sedentary lifestyle will have a detrimental effect on one’s health. In summary, children playing video games have positive and negative effects. It is already known that playing computer games can improve cognitive functions but playing too much will result in unwanted consequences.
After the birth of the digital age, it opened
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
doors for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to explore and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
aspect of technology that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
everyone getting hooked onto it is its entertainment value. One specific area to this and which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to dwell the most is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
will bear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
The usual preposition to use after “consequences” is not “to”. Did you mean “consequences of”, “consequences for”, or “consequences on”?
consequences to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, others beg to differ.

On one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can enhance their critical thinking and focus
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
that require the higher cognitive ability to pass any obstacles or level up
thus
exercising these functions which could be useful in real life. In a more practical sense, the world is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
in the digital age and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
will gear them into knowing computer literacy which will become a fundamental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
in the future.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will open doors for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new friends and build connections. As there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
online communities that
are built
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and are welcoming peers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
and discuss strategies or giving tips to win a game or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new friends.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
could have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences
as well
such as getting addicted to them which could result in decreased performance in school.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
be exposed
to violent behaviors and explicit content as there is an increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
killings, gruesome effects, and/or objectifying women.
Lastly
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addicted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, they will have lesser physical activity
thus
leading to obesity and cardiovascular diseases when they grow up. It is already proven with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
studies that having a sedentary lifestyle will have a detrimental effect on one’s health.

In summary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects. It is already known that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
cognitive functions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
too much will result in unwanted consequences.
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IELTS essay Nowadays many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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