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Nowadays, many people go to university and college to study the highest level of education

Nowadays, many people go to university and college to study the highest level of education 6aODG
Nowadays, many people go to university and college to study the highest level of education. In my opinion, there are two reasons that can explain why they attend there and I will support my opinion with examples. Firstly, I think education in university and college help students to have a better future career. Since they give us the specialization of the career that we study, we will have the insight of our future career and have a good understanding of the job we do. When we are fully prepared, we can have a good job in a company that can make us a fortune. Furthermore, With a degree and some more certificates, we can have chances to go aboard and get a better job in foreign country. Secondly, university and college bring students opportunities to learn important skills to prepare and enter adulthood. As they help students to have better social status. During the time they study, they have a lot of chances to make friends from everywhere from their country. They can make friends with well educated people in classes, clubs, events, …. . Which means students can use it to improve their social skills. They get to learn how to treat people right, be polite, be humble, …. . Furthermore, students can learn a lot of soft skills in university. They will know about teamwork and how to do it due to group work assignments and some of them will learn how to make a presentation, some learn to deliver a speech and many more. But most important is they learn to manage their time. To sum up, people attend university and college to have better and richer future careers and to learn important skills to prepare for their future life.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and college to study the highest level of education. In my opinion, there are two reasons that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why they attend there and I will support my opinion with examples.

Firstly
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
education in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and college
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. Since they give us the specialization of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
that we study, we will have the insight of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
and have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
understanding of the job we do. When we are
fully
prepared, we can have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
that can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
us a fortune.
Furthermore
, With a degree and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
more certificates, we can have chances to go aboard and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
job in foreign country.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and college bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
opportunities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to prepare and enter adulthood.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
social status. During the time they study, they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
chances to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
friends from everywhere from their country. They can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
friends with
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in classes, clubs,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, ….
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to treat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
right, be polite, be humble, ….
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. They will know about teamwork and how to do it due to group work assignments and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a presentation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to deliver a speech and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
is they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to manage their time.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
and college to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
and richer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
and to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to prepare for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
life.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, many people go to university and college to study the highest level of education

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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