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Description of your major interests

Description of your major interests 73w2n
At the time in high school, I had a few interests in politics, engineering, and IT but they were not obvious and incisive. Since entering college and starting the very first year, as a freshman, I've taken part in volunteering activities; most were pick-up trash events and joined competitions and fairs in recycled accessories DIY (do-it-yourself). Gradually and continually, I have developed a serious interest in environmental protection and this has been challenged and verified for years starting at my college time till later. I have to say that I had found my calling in university, but I served it in the wrong way. That was, after joining some continuous pick-up trash events organized by the local government and HoChiMinh Communist Youth Union. I was assigned to be head of my local youth voluntary organization, the Lien Chieu District of Youth Voluntary Organization. And it took me years to get wiser and realize that I should focus more on learning, rather than devoting school time to organizing and leading environmental activities. In other words, I also did not know how to allocate time between studying and joining social activities. But my care about the environment didn't stop. After graduating, I continued in the pursuit of work related to environmental projects, although my disadvantage of background's degree. To keep following and serving my calling, I restarted to learn English and developed soft skills through successfully applying and serving international events of the city as well as of the country. To be short, social activities, especially environmental caring, is my major area of interest. I want to be a professional in environmental science and an environmental doer. I would imagine that if I continue into my academic life and become a successful man in pursuing my major interest, one of the first things I shall do is, based on my ordeal, deliver my story to high schools and colleges.
At the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in high school, I had a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
in politics, engineering, and IT
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they were not obvious and incisive. Since entering college and starting the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
first
year, as a freshman, I've taken part in volunteering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
; most were pick-up trash
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
competitions and fairs in recycled accessories DIY (do-it-yourself).
Gradually
and
continually
, I have developed a serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
protection and this has
been challenged
and verified for years starting at my college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
till later. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
say that I had found my calling in university,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I served it in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way. That was, after joining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
continuous pick-up trash
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
organized by the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
HoChiMinh
Communist Youth Union. I
was assigned
to be head of my local youth voluntary organization, the Lien
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chieu
District of Youth Voluntary Organization. And it took me years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
wiser and realize that I should focus more on learning,
rather
than devoting school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to organizing and leading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
In other words
, I
also
did not know how to allocate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
between studying and joining social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
my care about the environment didn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
. After graduating, I continued in the pursuit of work related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
projects, although my disadvantage of background's degree. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
following and serving my calling, I restarted to learn English and developed soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
through
successfully
applying and serving international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
of the city
as well
as of the country. To be short, social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
caring, is my major area of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
. I want to be a professional in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
science and an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
doer. I would imagine that if I continue into my academic life and become a successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
in pursuing my major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
, one of the
first
things I shall do is, based on my ordeal, deliver my story to high schools and colleges.
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IELTS essay Description of your major interests

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
317 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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