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nowadays many people choose to visit for a company or organisation that might just be a case

nowadays many people choose to visit for a company or organisation that might just be a case d3or2
Whether we like it or not the world we live in has changed a great deal; which affects our lives in many aspects. In this regard, these days the major of people prefer working for themselves rather than to have a corporate job. In this essay, I discuss both reasons and demerits of self-employment before concluding. First of all, one of the main reasons why someone chooses to work for themselves is more free time and a pliable schedule. Thanks to the internet and technological revolution nowadays individuals can carry out their job regardless of time and place. Take freelancing as an example; which provides a circumstance to do your job any time and everywhere. In addition, there is more space for you to adjust your schedule based on your capabilities. For example, if your productivity is higher in the evening in comparison with the early morning you can do your job at that time. To put it another way, you can do your work relying on your qualifications and requisites. Second of all, according to the high competition; which exists amidst staff in the multitude of companies and firms, there is no necessity to be concern about losing your job. On the other side of the coin, even though self-employment has very merits, there are some drawbacks related to it. One of the main problems is the high workload. In many cases when you work for yourself, you have to carry out more works and being charge of different parts of the job. For example, you should work as a manager and employee as well; not only your energy but also your time is taken. Another problem is that while most companies consider insurance for their employees and a fixed monthly salary, there is no salary guarantee for people who works for themselves. In conclusion, although there are some demerits attributed to self-employment, in my opinion, its advantages are much more prominent and people reasons to be self-employed are too high extent sensible.
Whether we like it or not the world we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
a great deal; which affects our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects. In this regard, these days the major of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer working for themselves
rather
than to have a corporate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. In this essay, I discuss both reasons and demerits of self-employment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
concluding.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, one of the main reasons why someone chooses to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for themselves is more free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and a pliable schedule. Thanks to the internet and technological revolution nowadays individuals can carry out their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
regardless of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and place. Take freelancing as an example; which provides a circumstance to do your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and everywhere.
In addition
, there is more space for you to adjust your schedule based on your capabilities.
For example
, if your productivity is higher in the evening
in comparison
with the early morning you can do your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. To put it another way, you can do your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
relying on your qualifications and requisites. Second of all, according to the high competition; which exists amidst staff in the multitude of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and firms, there is no necessity to be concern about losing your job.

On the other side of the coin,
even though
self-employment has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
merits, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks related to it. One of the main problems is the high workload. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases when you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for yourself, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
carry out more works and being charge of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
For example
, you should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as a manager and employee
as well
; not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
your energy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is taken
. Another problem is that while most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
consider insurance for their employees and a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
monthly salary, there is no salary guarantee for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
Did you mean "work"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
works
for themselves.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
demerits attributed to self-employment, in my opinion, its advantages are much more prominent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
reasons
to be self-employed are too high extent sensible.
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IELTS essay nowadays many people choose to visit for a company or organisation that might just be a case

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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