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Nowadays, many people cannot read or write. What problems does this cause? What measures can governments take to solve these problems? v.2

Nowadays, many people cannot read or write. What problems does this cause? What measures can governments take to solve these problems? v. 2
These days, the problem that there are a number of people have no abilities of reading or writing has gain a great deal of public attention. While this is attributed to a whole host of reasons, some feasible solutions could be considered to address. On the one hand, there are several reasons of this problem. First, since many people must prefer earning a living and rasing their families, they have no chances to going to school. In fact, in many underdeveloped nations in Africa like Uganda, the majority of people, including children, are often work overtime and overburdened with it to adapt their basis needs. Consequently, these people could not have enough amount of time for learning. The second reason is by lacking of infrastructure, like school or system of transportation. For example, many children in remote areas do not have opportunities to reach the educational system, which prevent them to study and hence, they can not gain a wealth of reading and writing. On the other hand, several solutions could be taken into account to solve this problem. First, if the companies having people who can not read or write work could establish basic classes and galvanize their employees to learning by some rewards, like increasing in salaries or some mental rewards, these people would have motivations to study. Furthermore, the governments should have policies to spend a part of national budget in improving local infrastructure like building new school and enhancing transportation systems, especially in remote areas. This means that when local inhabitants are easier to access educational systems, they will going to study to enlarge their knowledge which will help them improve their life and hence, the rate of illiteracy will be decreased. In conclusion, it is clear that there are various reasons for illiteracy, and steps need to be taken to tackle this problem.
These days, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
that there are a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have no abilities of reading or writing has gain a great deal of public attention. While this
is attributed
to a whole host of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
feasible solutions could
be considered
to address.

On the one hand, there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
First
, since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
prefer earning a living and
Possible spelling mistake found.
rasing
their families, they have no chances to going to school. In fact, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
underdeveloped nations in Africa like Uganda, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, including children, are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
work overtime and overburdened with it to adapt their basis needs.
Consequently
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
amount of time for learning. The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is by lacking of infrastructure, like school or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
of transportation.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children in remote areas do not have opportunities to reach the educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them to study and
hence
, they can not gain a wealth of reading and writing.

On the other hand
, several solutions could
be taken
into account to solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
First
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who can not read or write work could establish basic classes and galvanize their employees to learning by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rewards, like increasing in salaries or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mental rewards, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would have motivations to study.
Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should have policies to spend a part of national budget in improving local infrastructure like building new school and enhancing transportation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
,
especially
in remote areas. This means that when local inhabitants are easier to access educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
, they will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "go"
going
to study to enlarge their knowledge which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their life and
hence
, the rate of illiteracy will
be decreased
.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there are various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for illiteracy, and steps need to
be taken
to tackle this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, many people cannot read or write. What problems does this cause? What measures can governments take to solve these problems? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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