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Nowadays majority of people are living sedentary life style. Is this positive or negative?

Nowadays majority of people are living sedentary life style. Is this positive or negative? Jq2la
It is true that lifestyle of people is more inactive in these days than past time even when there are many fitness centres are available. Many problems can arise from this motionless lifestyle and some steps can be taken by the government and general population to solve this problem. To begin with, there are several health issues can arise due to an inactive lifestyle. Firstly, obesity is the most common health problem in people who have a stationary work schedule for many hours. Food is necessary for providing energy to the body but people burn fewer calories because they do not perform any physical activity. Furthermore, the second most common problem found in sedentary lifestyle people is backache. Due to long time setting people lose muscle tissues that create a curved posture. Increased medical research showed that 80% of people who have a lazy lifestyle experience back pain within a week. These are some epidemics that are experienced by people who do not have an active lifestyle. However, some basic steps can be taken to reduce this problem. Firstly, people can start going to fitness centres nearby for doing exercises. Apart from this if their schedule is very busy then they can do some physical activities. Moreover, these days the richest society in the world use more cars even for travelling a short distance. Government can promote walking and using cyclic as a health-improving way by advertising. These are some steps that individuals and government can take to prevent health hazards. In conclusion, many health problems can occur because of this passive lifestyle but every individual and government can work in collaboration to minimise these problems.
It is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is more inactive in these days than
Did you mean "pastime"?
past time
even when there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fitness
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
are available.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
can arise from this motionless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps can
be taken
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and general population to solve this problem.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues can arise due to an inactive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
.
Firstly
, obesity is the most common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have a stationary work schedule for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hours. Food is necessary for providing energy to the body
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
burn fewer calories
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not perform any physical activity.
Furthermore
, the second most common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
found in sedentary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
backache. Due to long time setting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lose muscle tissues that create a curved posture. Increased medical research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 80% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have a lazy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
experience back pain within a week. These are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
epidemics that
are experienced
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not have an active lifestyle.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic steps can
be taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
going to fitness
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
nearby for doing exercises. Apart from this if their schedule is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
busy then they can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
physical activities.
Moreover
, these days the richest society in the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more cars even for travelling a short distance.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
can promote walking and using cyclic as a health-improving way by advertising. These are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps that individuals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can take to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
hazards.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
can occur
because of this
passive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
every individual and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can work in collaboration to
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays majority of people are living sedentary life style. Is this positive or negative?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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