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Nowadays, large shopping malls are becoming more popular than small local shops. Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, large shopping malls are becoming more popular than small local shops. Is this a positive or negative development? pL2M3
In this developing era, mall culture is growing rapidly and people are also inclined towards it. Due to that, most of the small shops are facing crysis. I would discuss both the perspective in the forthcoming paragraphs and would give reasons for my inclinations to conclude of these effects. The shopping malls, western culture, which came to India for last decade where various brands products come under one roof. Therefore, people are able to buy trendy jewelleries, fashionable clothes, branded shoes, and much more. Also, people have a more options to check and visit different brands store at a one place. Adding to that, food courts, where masses could enjoy all kind of delicious foods. Top of that, malls furnished with play area, gaming zone, movie theatre where adults and children could enjoy quality of time. Moreover, they give attractive offers and huge discounts on purchases, more cultural and festival activities to attract more customers. Additionally, malls facilated with sufficient parking area for hussle-free experience. nowadays, most of the individuals, mostly youngsters, want to spend time in malls because of the above reasons. However, adverse effects have on the small businesses due to this. Owing to lack of consumers, their products are not selling as it should be. Infact, small local shops and businesses urge to stop because more people inclined towards to mall culture. Financial crisis have to face by small business person, who do not have an another option than doing business. Most of the local market shop people, have to shut their shops and started various job or business where they could earn money. To conclude, though there are negative impact towards small firms. On the contrary, end user prefer to have a place where they could get all things, additionally have a good discounts and could enjoy leaisure time with family. Hence, definitely, this is the positive impact.
In this developing era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
culture is growing
rapidly
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
also
inclined towards it. Due to that, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
are facing
Possible spelling mistake found.
crysis
. I would discuss both the perspective in the forthcoming paragraphs and would give reasons for my inclinations
to conclude
of these effects.

The shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
, western culture, which came to India for last decade where various brands products
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
under one roof.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
trendy
Possible spelling mistake found.
jewelleries
, fashionable clothes, branded shoes, and much more.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a more options to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
and visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
brands store at a one place. Adding to that, food courts, where masses could enjoy all kind of delicious foods. Top of that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
furnished with play area, gaming zone, movie
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
where adults and children could enjoy quality of time.

Moreover
, they give attractive offers and huge discounts on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
, more cultural and festival activities to attract more customers.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
Possible spelling mistake found.
facilated
with sufficient parking area for
Possible spelling mistake found.
hussle-free
experience.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
nowadays
, most of the individuals,
mostly
youngsters, want to spend time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the above reasons.

However
, adverse effects have on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
due to this. Owing to lack of consumers, their products are not selling as it should be.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Infact
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
urge to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
inclined towards to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
culture. Financial crisis
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
person, who do not have
One of these determiners is redundant in this context. Choose only one: "an option" or "another option".
an another option
than doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. Most of the local market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
shut their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
various job or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
where they could earn money.

To conclude
, though there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
firms.
On the contrary
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
user prefer to have a place where they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
all things,
additionally
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
discounts and could enjoy
Possible spelling mistake found.
leaisure
time with family.
Hence
, definitely, this is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, large shopping malls are becoming more popular than small local shops. Is this a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
312 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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