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Nowadays jobs take parents travelling. What are the effects of travelling for work, on parents and the rest of the family?

Most organizations now have branches in almost all parts of the world. To run these divisions, they employ people from almost every corner of the world. Many of these jobs require people to travel far. It is argued that parents who spend excessive amounts of time away from home negatively influence the growth of their kids. The effect of parents having less time for their family because of their paid employment will be discussed below. One major effect of parents traveling for work on their family is that children feel a lack of connection with their parents. Parents play an important role in shaping the lives of their children. When parents travel, children are deprived of regular interactions with an adult role model. This can make kids learn negative things from watching television, house helps, neighbors, and schoolmates. For instance, an article from the daily news recently reported that a young girl was caught about committing suicide as a result of not having an adult figure to speak with about the molestation that happened to her months back. Furthermore, most parents miss the growing years of their children. Kids need to see their father and mother regularly in order to familiarize themselves with each other. For example, my cousin, who works with a consulting firm, once complained of how her newborn baby could not recognize her for a few months. In conclusion, as much as traveling offers new experiences to parents, it also has a poor influence on their offspring as discussed above.
Most organizations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have branches in almost all parts of the world. To run these divisions, they employ
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from almost every corner of the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of these jobs require
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to travel far. It
is argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who spend excessive amounts of time away from home
negatively
influence the growth of their kids. The effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
having less time for their family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their paid employment will
be discussed
below.

One major effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
traveling for work on their family is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
feel a lack of connection with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in shaping the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
travel,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are deprived
of regular interactions with an adult role model. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
kids learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
things from watching television,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
, neighbors, and schoolmates.
For instance
, an article from the daily news recently reported that a young girl
was caught
about committing suicide
as a result
of not having an adult figure to speak with about the molestation that happened to her months back.

Furthermore
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
miss the growing years of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Kids need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their father and mother
regularly
in order to familiarize themselves with each other.
For example
, my cousin, who works with a consulting firm, once complained of how her newborn baby could not recognize her for a few months.

In conclusion
, as much as traveling offers new experiences to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, it
also
has a poor influence on their offspring as discussed above.
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IELTS essay Nowadays jobs take parents travelling. What are the effects of travelling for work, on parents and the rest of the family?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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