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Nowadays, it is highly recommended for people to have two or more jobs.

Nowadays, it is highly recommended for people to have two or more jobs. keE2R
Nowadays, it is highly recommended for people to have two or more jobs. The living costs are growing too fast and one way to make yourself comfortable with it - having a couple of careers. I totally agree with this statement and in this essay, I will provide my opinion for this view. Firstly, the world economy is being changed everyday, so the human’s life is being affected by it too. The prices for many goods are increasing day by day, so being a worker for two or more companies will be beneficial. The individual might have the opportunity to live the full life and not be afraid of the high price marks for the products. Secondly, being a member of a couple companies may bring confidence in tomorrow’s day. What I mean by this is that knowing your financial state, you could divide the needed outcomes from the extra ones and would not become broke after that. Thus, people might become more knowledgeable about how to spend their income correctly. Thirdly, having a two diploma after graduating from university might enlarge the circle of potential employers. This means that individuals might have more chances to apply for the company he or she wants, due to the fact that the competition between applicants is huge, so it is logical to assume that companies may be looking for the most suitable workers. This may lead to a healthy working place in the company that individual is comfortable to work in. I must admit, being an employee in more than two working places might have an impact on someone’s health in both physical and mental ways: overwork is one of the main issues nowadays, as well as overstressing and feeling of emptiness. Nevertheless, to be able to live a comfortable life, people might need to sacrifice their health and free-time. Overall, I believe that working in more than one job will greatly benefit the individual in many ways: being independent from growth of prices, providing a better lifestyle and making the individual highly essential for the employers.
Nowadays, it is
highly
recommended for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to have two or more jobs. The living costs are growing too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and one way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
yourself comfortable with it
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
having a couple of careers. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and in this essay, I will provide my opinion for this view.

Firstly
, the world economy is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the human’s life is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by it too. The prices for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
are increasing day by day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
being a worker for two or more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
will be beneficial. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
the full life and not be afraid of the high price marks for the products.
Secondly
, being a member of a couple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
may bring confidence in tomorrow’s day. What I mean by this is that knowing your financial state, you could divide the needed outcomes from the extra ones and would not become broke after that.
Thus
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
become more knowledgeable about how to spend their income
correctly
.
Thirdly
, having a two diploma after graduating from university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
enlarge the circle of potential employers. This means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have more chances to apply for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
he or she wants, due to the fact that the competition between applicants is huge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is logical to assume that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
may be looking for the most suitable workers. This may lead to a healthy working place in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
is comfortable to work in.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
admit, being an employee in more than two working places
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have an impact on someone’s health in both physical and mental ways: overwork is one of the main issues nowadays,
as well
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
overstressing
and feeling of emptiness.
Nevertheless
, to be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a comfortable life,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
need to sacrifice their health and free-time.

Overall
, I believe that working in more than one job will
greatly
benefit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways: being
The usual collocation for "independent" is "of" not "from". Did you mean "independent of"?
independent from
growth of prices, providing a better lifestyle and making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
highly
essential for the employers.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, it is highly recommended for people to have two or more jobs.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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