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Jihjj the mail in conclusion of the day today I

Jihjj the mail in conclusion of the day today I VQnJ7
This currently contentious argument over whether should be a student travel for abroad after their exams or focus on their studies. In my own perspective, after finishing the exam student must need to concentrate on their work. Firstly, A number of people considered that after the exams student must be visit or travel a country. Consequently, If a student go to a foreign country for their work and gaining some experience. In which his future will be secure than this decision is amazing. As we know that, most of the pupils just travel another country for joy and their adventure. If they go just for chilling parties they are wasting their times in unsual activities. In this way, they are unable to get any experience. However, a numerous advantages to travel a country which we like the most after completing our school or college examination. we can go there and examine each and everything, for example their culture, traditions, customs and industries etc. We must build a strong relation with citizens of that country. The reason is that in the coming days we will able to do various business. we can earn our livlihood from this place easily. In conclusion, those student who passed their time in invaluable and cheap things and close their self inside the doors of house they are in hazordous condition. So carefully stay away from such adventures.
This
currently
contentious argument over whether should be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
for abroad after their exams or focus on their studies. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective, after finishing the exam
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
need to concentrate on their work.

Firstly
, A number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
considered that after the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "exams'" or "exam's"?
exams
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
Consider using a past participle here: "visited".
visit
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Consequently
, If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
go to a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for their work and gaining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
experience. In which his future will be
Use "securer" to make a comparison with this adjective.
secure
than this decision is amazing. As we know that, most of the pupils
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for joy and their adventure. If they go
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for chilling parties they are wasting their times in
Possible spelling mistake found.
unsual
activities. In this way, they are unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any experience.

However
, a numerous
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "advantage"?
advantages
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which we like the most after completing our school or college examination.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
can go there and examine each and everything,
for example
their culture, traditions, customs and industries etc. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
build a strong relation with citizens of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. The reason is that in the coming days we
Did you mean "will be able"?
will able
to do various business.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
can earn our
Possible spelling mistake found.
livlihood
from this place
easily
.

In conclusion
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who passed their time in invaluable and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
things and close their self inside the doors of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
they are in
Possible spelling mistake found.
hazordous
condition.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
carefully
stay away from such adventures.
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IELTS essay Jihjj the mail in conclusion of the day today I

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
232 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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