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Nowadays it is common for people to get married in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Do you agree or disagree that trend will benefit society

Nowadays it is common for people to get married in their thirties rather than when they are younger. that trend will benefit society 77Xn
In this modern era, mostly people are being married in their third decade of life due to financial independence and more mature mind set instead of marrying in their younger age group. I completely agree with the notion and discuss about same in following paragraphs. To commence with, people in their thirties are having stable financial ground. To elaborate, individuals are mostly earning in their middle age group and capable of sustaining good life and provide better living for their families and children, moreover, raise their offsprings to greater level in terms of study and health. People in late twenties do not need to depend on their parents and siblings, hence, seem to be a practical reason for not marrying in twenties. Secondly, later age group people tend to have more developed mind set. Individuals are having their own preferences in choosing their better half. For instance, in U. S. A most people do assure their competence with respect to their life partner before getting married as it is a significant decision for spending entire life with each other. Therefore, sense of maturity is an important consideration in thirties to be in martial relationship. In conclusion, I believe it is imperative to have developed perspective and stable financial equation which both are lacking in youngsters. The reason why people choose to be in relationship of marriage in late twenties.
In this modern era,
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
being married
in their third decade of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
due to financial independence and more mature mind set
instead
of marrying in their younger age group. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the notion and
Did you mean simply "discuss same"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about same
in following paragraphs.

To commence with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their thirties are having stable financial ground. To elaborate, individuals are
mostly
earning in their middle age group and capable of sustaining
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and provide better living for their families and children,
moreover
, raise their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
to greater level in terms of study and health.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in late twenties do not need to depend on their parents and siblings,
hence
, seem to be a practical reason for not marrying in twenties.

Secondly
, later age group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to have more developed mind set. Individuals are having their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
preferences in choosing their better half.
For instance
, in U. S. A most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do assure their competence with respect to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
partner
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
getting married as it is a significant decision for spending entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with each other.
Therefore
, sense of maturity is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
consideration in thirties to be in martial relationship.

In conclusion
, I believe it is imperative to have developed perspective and stable financial equation which both are lacking in youngsters. The reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to be in relationship of marriage in late twenties.

IELTS essay Nowadays it is common for people to get married in their thirties rather than when they are younger. that trend will benefit society

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
229 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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