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Nowadays in many countries women have full time jobs. Therefore, it is logical to share household tasks between men and women. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.8

Nowadays in many countries women have full time jobs. Therefore, it is logical to share household tasks between men and women. with this statement? v. 8
In order to meet the demands of today’s life, both men and women are working to raise their income in many regions across the globe. So, it is obligatory for both of them to share household chores too. I strongly agree with this statement as it would reduce the burden of females in doing home tasks and would promote the gender equality. Firstly, sharing household tasks by both males and females would maintain a balance among them. Working women have stress of jobs on them along with doing domestic chores. For instance, job of 8-5 would make a woman feel exhausted and having home responsibilities after that would make her physically and mentally ill. Therefore, it is compulsory for men to support women in managing home duties to keep a balance among them by equally sharing the duties. Secondly, females and males should divide home responsibilities to promote gender equality. It has become a stereotype from long time that women should stay at homes and take care of their families rather than working in the field. To illustrate, in Asian countries, a trend exists that men would be doing outdoor jobs, whereas women are meant to do household tasks. As a result, females would lack of exposure to the outside world and would remain dependent on men. Therefore, women should also be given equal opportunities for doing jobs and men must assist women for performing domestic duties. To conclude, it is a common trend that females are now working in the fields and offices to support families. I believe that if both genders are working for apportioning financial burden, they should be supporting to each other for keeping equilibrium in fulfilling their duties.
In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the demands of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s life, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
to raise their income in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
regions across the globe.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is obligatory for both of them to share household chores too. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement as it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the burden of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
home tasks and would promote the gender equality.

Firstly
, sharing household tasks by both males and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
would maintain a balance among them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
on them along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
domestic chores.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
of 8-5 would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a woman feel exhausted and having home responsibilities after that would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
her
physically
and mentally ill.
Therefore
, it is compulsory for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
to support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in managing home duties to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a balance among them by
equally
sharing the duties.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
and males should divide home responsibilities to promote gender equality. It has become a stereotype from long time that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should stay at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
and take care of their families
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in the field. To illustrate, in Asian countries, a trend exists that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are meant
to do household tasks.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
would lack of exposure to the outside world and would remain dependent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
equal opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
for performing domestic duties.

To conclude
, it is a common trend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in the fields and offices to support families. I believe that if both genders are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for apportioning financial burden, they should be supporting to each other for keeping equilibrium in fulfilling their duties.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays in many countries women have full time jobs. Therefore, it is logical to share household tasks between men and women. with this statement? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
8.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Nowadays in many countries women have full time jobs. Therefore, it is logical to share household tasks between men and women. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.8