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Nowadays getting a job is becoming harder in poor countries leading to a rise in unemployment. Some people believe that pupils should only be allowed to access primary education while others believe that secondary education is necessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays getting a job is becoming harder in poor countries leading to a rise in unemployment. Some people believe that pupils should only be allowed to access primary education while others believe that secondary education is necessary. aEPkm
At present, increasing population around the globe precipitates exponential unemployment. Some individuals say that it is not necessary to obtain tenth grade school education, on the other hand, many people think that secondary education is pivotal. It strikes me that, a high school education is important since preparatory education is not suffice for getting a ameliorate employment. This essay discusses both the topics with relevant examples. To begin with, momentarily obtaining a job is extremely hilarious task for adolescents in major developing countries. Candidates having a high level of qualifications also grapple to find a suitable position in reputed companies, thus completing senior high school education is vital in order to acquire a better employment. Moreover, a vast number of prestigious organization set up a mandatory criteria in terms of scrutinizing each and every applications for any vacancies, furthermore, due to the fact that, a plethora of establishments are successfully replace thier operation from manual to machine an abundance of employees removed from basic factory works. For example, the majority of the firms use stringent rules and regulations in terms of wetting job aspirants for various posts, therefore, passing these multiple interviews and tests ultimately required enormous education background, so that a higher secondary education is immensely valuable when it comes to applying for employment. Additionally, there are umpteen challenges to overcome in terms of juveniles failed to attend tenth grade schools. Without a respectable academic qualifications a huge number of minors constraints to work in minimum wage jobs, consequently their monetary condition will not be stable never ever. On the top of that, a high number of factories are mechanised as matter of fact these industries only recruit skilled laboures, as a result chances of finding a job is profoundly difficult for fifth grade school leavers. For instance, one of the gigantic public sector company in India called BSNL ousted a large number of unskilled staffs due to completion of mechanising of their work stations. To conclude, it is implicitly true the percentage of jobless folks are cumulating day by day, not only but also, this specific phenomenon definitely proliferate in the near future. Needless to say, students who is having palatable educational certificates only eligible for any kind of jobs, hense it is significant to earn high scool education in order to compete in job market.
At present, increasing population around the globe precipitates exponential unemployment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals say that it is not necessary to obtain tenth grade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
on the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is pivotal. It strikes me that, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
since preparatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is not suffice for getting
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
ameliorate employment. This essay discusses both the topics with relevant examples.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
momentarily
obtaining a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is
extremely
hilarious task for adolescents in major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
. Candidates having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
level of qualifications
also
grapple to find a suitable position in reputed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
,
thus
completing senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is vital in order to acquire a better employment.
Moreover
, a vast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of prestigious organization set up a mandatory criteria in terms of scrutinizing each and every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "application"?
applications
for any vacancies,
furthermore
, due to the fact that, a plethora of establishments are
successfully
Consider using a past participle here: "replaced".
replace
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
operation from manual to machine an abundance of employees removed from basic factory works.
For example
, the majority of the firms
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
stringent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations in terms of wetting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
aspirants for various posts,
therefore
, passing these multiple interviews and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
ultimately
required enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
background,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that a higher secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
immensely
valuable when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to applying for employment.

Additionally
, there are umpteen challenges to overcome in terms of juveniles failed to attend tenth grade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. Without a respectable academic
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "qualification"?
qualifications
a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of minors constraints to work in minimum wage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
,
consequently
their monetary condition will not be stable never ever. On the top of that, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of factories are
Possible spelling mistake. 'mechanised' is British English.
mechanised
as matter of fact these industries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
recruit skilled
Possible spelling mistake found.
laboures
,
as a result
chances of finding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is
profoundly
difficult for fifth grade
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
school leavers
.
For instance
, one of the gigantic public sector
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in India called
Possible spelling mistake found.
BSNL
ousted a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of unskilled staffs due to completion of
Possible spelling mistake. 'mechanising' is British English.
mechanising
of their work stations.

To conclude
, it is
implicitly
true the percentage of jobless folks are cumulating day by day, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
, this specific phenomenon definitely proliferate in the near future. Needless to say, students who
Did you mean "am", "are", "aren"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'students' should be used.
is
having palatable educational certificates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
eligible for any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
hense
it is significant to earn
Possible spelling mistake found.
high scool
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in order to compete in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market.
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IELTS essay Nowadays getting a job is becoming harder in poor countries leading to a rise in unemployment. Some people believe that pupils should only be allowed to access primary education while others believe that secondary education is necessary.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
388 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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