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Nowadays genetic modification is becoming more popular than the traditional one. Is it positive or negative development?

Nowadays genetic modification is becoming more popular than the traditional one. Is it positive or negative development? 3LVrN
Genetic modification is a set of technologies used to change the genetic makeup of cells. In current senario, genetically modified things takes place of traditional one and it is becoming the most popular. It is positive because it has mane benefits as compared to demerits. Firstly, there are many various sectors, where the genetic modification us being more effective such as in food as well as human organ transplantation. To explain more, because of increasing the population of the world, the one major issue, lake of food is becoming more serious. To curb this situation, the scientists are found some hybrid species of seeds, which are more helpful to increase the quantity of food. For example, in 20th century, there is only one species of wheat is found in india, whise name is "grain". But nowadays lots and lots of varities of wheats are found like "tukdi". Tukdi wheat's production per feet is too much higher than old once. So every farmer turn towards tukdi, which is genetically modified and it is more profitable. Secondly, a gentacilly modified cow whose breed name is "jurcy". It is the combination of an indian "gir" cow and the United States of America's cow. The indian cow's milk was too much healty for human body but the production rate was low, while the USA's cows production ratio was high but milk was not able to drink so scientists were found a new specie by the combination of two of these. As a result the " jurcy" cow's milk was healthy as indian cow and production ratio was as high as the USA's cow. In current situation, this technologies are also use in human organs transplantation and it is successful in almost every transplantation. In conclusion, genetic modification of the future of world and for full fill the daily need of people the genetic modification is too much useful in future. So every people have to move towards the genetic modification.
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Genetic
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modification
is a set of technologies
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used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
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genetic
makeup of cells. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
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senario
,
genetically
modified things takes place of traditional one and it is becoming the most popular. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has mane benefits as compared to demerits.

Firstly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
various sectors, where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modification
us being more effective such as in food
as well
as human organ transplantation. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
more,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of increasing the population of the world, the one major issue, lake of food is becoming more serious. To curb this situation, the scientists are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
found
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hybrid species of seeds, which are more helpful to increase the quantity of food.
For example
, in 20th century, there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one species of wheat is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
found
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
india
,
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whise
name is
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
grain
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"
.
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But
nowadays lots and lots of
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varities
of
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wheats
are
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found
like
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"
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tukdi
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"
.
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Tukdi
wheat's
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production
per feet is too much higher than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
once.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
every farmer turn towards
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tukdi
, which is
genetically
modified and it is more profitable.

Secondly
, a
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gentacilly
modified
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cow
whose breed name is
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"
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jurcy
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"
. It is the combination of an
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indian
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"
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gir
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"
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cow
and the United States of America's
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cow
. The
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indian
cow's milk was too much
Possible spelling mistake found.
healty
for human body
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
rate was low, while the USA's
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cows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
ratio was high
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
milk was not able to drink
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
scientists were
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found
a new specie by the combination of two of these.
As a result
the
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"
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jurcy
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"
cow's milk was healthy as
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indian
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cow
and
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production
ratio was as high as the USA's
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cow
. In
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current
situation,
Did you mean "these"?
this
technologies are
also
Consider using a past participle here: "used".
use
in human organs transplantation and it is successful in almost every transplantation.

In conclusion
,
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genetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modification
of the future of world and for full fill the daily need of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modification
is too much useful
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
genetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modification
.

IELTS essay Nowadays genetic modification is becoming more popular than the traditional one. Is it positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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