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Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved theway people live? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.11

Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved theway people live? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 11
It is an unquestionable fact that today we have an opportunity to spend less time on cooking. At the same time, there is no unanimous opinion about aftermaths of this change and some of our contemporaries assume that it has negative consequences on our health and lives, however, as far as I am concerned the positive aftermaths, which will be discussed in details below, definitely outweigh the negative ones. Probably, the most obvious advantage of the change is the fact that today we have to spend less time on cooking. In fact, one hundred years ago an average woman had to spend hours on the kitchen to feed her children and husband, a process of preparing food was tedious and long, for instance, to made a coup she ought to find all ingredients, wash, chop and boil them and it is the only first step of the process. By contrast, today we can buy a frozen pizza, put it in a microwave and dinner is prepared. Moreover, an opportunity to prepare food swifter than it used to be has a deep impact on role of woman in European society. Perhaps, this change has made female and male more equal. Preparing food used to require from a person to have expertise and knowledge about the field and woman was an embodiment of it, as a result, males tended to associate their wives with this occupation, fortunately, today when no particular skills are needed to prepare modern food and children as well as men may buy food at store and quickly prepare it, women' s role has stopped to be limited by the kitchen and they have more time which they can devote to their own business. Of course, some of us are prone to see negative effects of the change on our society and particularly health. A part of population believes that preservatives used in such a type of food causes harm to your health. However, this belief has no valid evidence at least as far as I know. Moreover, some scientists who are specialized at food preservation maintain that modern food are much safer than it used to be in particular because of the specially created preservatives which guarantee that food will be not suddenly spoiled. In conclusion, today we live in the world when everyone can buy food which can be easily prepared without usage of special tools or knowledge. Although many of us tend to underestimate the importance of this change, I profoundly believe that it has changed our society in many ways and allowed men and women become equal.
It is an unquestionable fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
we have an opportunity to spend less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on cooking. At the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, there is no unanimous opinion about aftermaths of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of our contemporaries assume that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences on our health and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
however
, as far as I
am concerned
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aftermaths, which will
be discussed
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
below, definitely outweigh the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
ones.

Probably
, the most obvious advantage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on cooking. In fact, one hundred years ago an average woman had to spend hours on the kitchen to feed her children and husband, a process of preparing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
was tedious and long,
for instance
,
Did you mean "to make"?
to made
a coup she ought to find all ingredients, wash, chop and boil them and it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
first
step of the process. By contrast,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a frozen pizza, put it in a microwave and dinner
is prepared
.

Moreover
, an opportunity to prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
swifter than it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be has a deep impact on role of woman in European society. Perhaps, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
has made female and male more equal. Preparing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to require from a person to have expertise and knowledge about the field and woman was an embodiment of it,
as a result
, males tended to associate their wives with this occupation,
fortunately
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
when no particular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are needed
to prepare modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and children
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at store and
quickly
prepare it,
Possible spelling mistake found.
women&
#039; s role has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
to
be limited
by the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
kitchen and
they have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which they can devote to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business.

Of course
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of us are prone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
on our society and
particularly
health. A part of population believes that preservatives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in such a type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
causes harm to your health.
However
, this belief has no valid evidence at least as far as I know.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
scientists who
are specialized
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
preservation maintain that modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
are much safer than it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be
in particular
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
specially
created preservatives which guarantee that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
will be not
suddenly
spoiled.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the world when everyone can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which can be
easily
prepared without usage of special tools or knowledge. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of us tend to underestimate the importance of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
, I
profoundly
believe that it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
our society in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women become equal.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, food has become easier to prepare. Has this change improved theway people live? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 11

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
432 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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