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Nowadays, fewer young people are willing to consider a career in teaching. What do you think are the causes of this? What can the government do to encourage young people to become teachers?

Nowadays, fewer young people are willing to consider a career in teaching. What do you think are the causes of this? What can the government do to encourage young people to become teachers? GNmEw
It is true that nowadays, fewer young people choose teaching as their profession. This can be explained by some reasons and several solutions can be implemented to deal with the problems. Teachers often receive lower salaries compared to those of other professions. For example, the salary of a senior teacher in my country is around one-fifth that of an entry-level job in other fields such as banking or law. When taking into account the relatively low rate of pay for teaching, many young people might aim for another job. The simple way to solve this is for a country’s government, which is usually the largest employer of public sector workers including teaching, to raise salaries for teachers, especially those just starting in the professions. Online courses have become more prevalent, which means the demand for teaching in traditional classrooms is likely to decrease and many teachers would be made redundant. Seeing a dark, predictable future in which there would be fewer career prospects and lower job security when pursuing teaching, many new university graduates would probably opt for a different profession. To deal with this, governments should put emphasis on the superior role of teachers to computers in terms of imparting knowledge to students and the high demand for teachers to make study materials for online classes. In conclusion, low incomes and the advent of e-learning can be used to explain the decreasing number of young people choosing to become a teacher. However, governments can increase teachers’ salaries and portray a more positive image of teaching to encourage more young people to go into the profession.
It is true that nowadays, fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose
If 'choose' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to teach".
teaching
as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profession
. This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons and several solutions can
be implemented
to deal with the problems.

Teachers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
receive lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
compared to those of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professions
.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
of a senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
in my country is around one-fifth that of an entry-level job in other fields such as banking or law. When taking into account the
relatively
low rate of pay for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might aim for another job. The simple way to solve this is for a country’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, which is
usually
the largest employer of public sector workers including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
, to raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
,
especially
those
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
starting in the professions.

Online courses have become more prevalent, which means the demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
in traditional classrooms is likely to decrease and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
would
be made
redundant. Seeing a dark, predictable future in which there would be fewer career prospects and lower job security when pursuing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new university graduates would
probably
opt for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profession
. To deal with this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should put emphasis on the superior role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
to computers in terms of imparting knowledge to students and the high demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
study materials for online classes.

In conclusion
, low incomes and the advent of e-learning can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the decreasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choosing to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
and portray a more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
image of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
Did you mean "encouraging"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'teach' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to encourage
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to go into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profession
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, fewer young people are willing to consider a career in teaching. What do you think are the causes of this? What can the government do to encourage young people to become teachers?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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