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Some people think that if women were to rule the world, there would be less violence in it. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that if women were to rule the world, there would be less violence in it. jowxa
Many people believe that if women were in leadership positions, engaged in decision making, nations would work better and there would be less violence and precariousness, and more peace. In this case, I partially agree with the assumption because it depends on leadership quality and not on gender. In many corners of the world, women are transcending from the traditional role into the public and modern roles. Due to their nonviolent nature, in general, the hypothesis emerged that the globe would be less violent and sustainable under female leadership. This notion has also been put forward due to women’s different opinions and paradigm thought. To illustrate, women, with the paradigm of thoughts, bring different prism of looking at the world, different approaches to analysing problems and different ways of offering remedies. A very good example here is Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, Africa’s first female president. She put Liberia back on its feet after 14 years of brutal civil war. Not only did she liberate her countrymen from the horror of civil war, but also stood down for Liberia’s first peaceful transfer of power since the 1940s. On the contrary, women, many a time, are stereotyped as having an intellectual capacity that is different from men and emotional fortitude to reach the difficult decisions that leadership required. The deep-seated prejudice against women exerts profound influence in making their decisions. In other words, the fear of appearing feeble in fact affects women leaders, which in turn make them prone to waging war. A piece of research carried out by the National Bureau of Military historical research shed some fascinating historical light on this fact. A case in point is Margaret Thatcher. She went to Falklands war so as to save her premiership according to many historians. To conclude, it has long been perceived that female leaders are less combative than their counterparts, more prone to seek peace than wage war. This is because the women have a different worldview which affects the way they approach a problem and come up with solutions. However, perception is not always grounded in reality. History shines lights on the fact that females are not always as peaceable as their trait suggests.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
were in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
positions, engaged in
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
, nations would work better and there would be less violence and precariousness, and more peace.
In this case
, I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the assumption
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it depends on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
quality and not on gender.

In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
corners of the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are transcending from the traditional role into the public and modern roles. Due to their nonviolent nature,
in general
, the hypothesis emerged that the globe would be less violent and sustainable under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
. This notion has
also
been put
forward due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
opinions and paradigm
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, with the paradigm of thoughts, bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
prism of looking at the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
approaches to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
problems and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
ways of offering remedies. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example here is Ellen Johnson
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sirleaf
, Africa’s
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
president. She put Liberia back on its feet after 14 years of brutal civil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
did she liberate her countrymen from the horror of civil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
stood down for Liberia’s
first
peaceful transfer of power since the 1940s.

On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
a time,
are stereotyped
as having an intellectual capacity
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and emotional fortitude to reach the difficult decisions that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leadership
required. The deep-seated prejudice against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
exerts profound influence in making their decisions.
In other words
, the fear of appearing feeble in fact affects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
leaders, which in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them prone to waging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
. A piece of research carried out by the National Bureau of Military historical research shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fascinating historical light on this fact. A case in point is Margaret Thatcher. She went to Falklands
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
save her premiership according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
historians.

To conclude
, it has long
been perceived
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
leaders are less combative than their counterparts, more prone to seek peace than wage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
worldview which affects the way they approach a problem and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with solutions.
However
, perception is not always grounded in reality. History shines lights on the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
are not always as peaceable as their trait suggests.
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IELTS essay Some people think that if women were to rule the world, there would be less violence in it.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
364 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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