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Nowadays, Fewer People Tend To Look After Their Old Relatives And Send Them To Old Age Homes

Nowadays, Fewer People Tend To Look After Their Old Relatives And Send Them To Old Age Homes pabXd
In this modern era, majority of the adult children admit their elderly people in an old homecare facility as they are unable to take full responsibility of taking care of their senior relatives. Abandoning their beloved old parents has been in practice, worldwide, especially in the western countries. As far as my viewpoint is concerned, this practice is absolutely inappropriate as long as you have sufficient resources to keep them under your care. Reasons are stated below. Firstly, older parents crave their loved ones’ attention only, as they age with each passage of time. Besides, they seek affection from their grandchildren also. In addition to that, the staff at old age homes can never provide such intense care and attachment as they may receive from their own blood relations. For example, in a country like Pakistan, adult children seldom send their elderly relatives to a caring center as majority of them are aware of a unique relationship they possess with their senior members. Regardless of what the circumstances are, I believe that giving up on your old family members, especially during the time when they need us the most, is absolutely unethical. Secondly, if the old parents are sent to the old-care house, they become emotionally unstable as they are not around their beloved family members. The homesickness leads them to become mentally absent in every situation and ultimately, they tend to stop focusing on eating and speaking. On the contrary, a few people have no financial means to afford their aged parents or grandparents. Consequently, they are left with no choice but to send their senior member to a caring center. To conclude this, elderly relatives constantly want our care and attention. Moreover, they also wish to stay mentally healthy by living with their close family members. Therefore, my overall opinion is that people should not abandon their old parents and be there for them both emotionally and physically, until they live amongst us.
In this modern era,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
the adult children admit their elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
Possible spelling mistake found.
homecare
facility as they are unable to take full responsibility of taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their senior relatives. Abandoning their beloved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
has been in practice, worldwide,
especially
in the western countries. As far as my viewpoint
is concerned
, this practice is
absolutely
inappropriate as long as you have sufficient resources to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them under your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
. Reasons
are stated
below.

Firstly
, older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
crave their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones’ attention
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, as they age with each passage of time.
Besides
, they seek affection from their grandchildren
also
.
In addition
to that, the staff at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age homes can never provide such intense
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
and attachment as they may receive from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
blood relations.
For example
, in a country like Pakistan, adult children seldom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their elderly relatives to a caring center as
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
them are aware of a unique relationship they possess with their senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
. Regardless of what the circumstances are, I believe that giving up on your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
,
especially
during the time when they need us the most, is
absolutely
unethical.

Secondly
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-care
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, they become
emotionally
unstable as they are not around their beloved family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
. The homesickness leads them to become mentally absent in every situation and
ultimately
, they tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
focusing on eating and speaking.
On the contrary
, a few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have no financial means to afford their aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or grandparents.
Consequently
, they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
with no choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
to a caring center.

To conclude
this, elderly relatives
constantly
want our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
and attention.
Moreover
, they
also
wish to stay mentally healthy by living with their close family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
.
Therefore
, my
overall
opinion is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should not abandon their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and be there for them both
emotionally
and
physically
, until they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
amongst us.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, Fewer People Tend To Look After Their Old Relatives And Send Them To Old Age Homes

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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