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background of my background,academic activity and etc.

background of my background, academic activity and etc. YRmRB
1- hello my name is Zeyad Ehab abed. I am a fresh graduate of the faculty of pharmacy, credit hour system, Horus university in Egypt (HUE) with a total GBA = high very good with a degree of honor (3. 69 of 4). From 2016 to 2019 I participate in the GTARCADE company(a multinational company making games on google play and Appstore) As a translator, secretary, and moderator (translating English content and adjust it according to Arabic culture, recording minutes of meetings with other moderators and suggesting events’ names, forms, and when to publish this event to achieve good sales within games ) Also, in 2019 In Horus university making a campaign in the university field and raising awareness about pancreatic diseases. In 2020, due to the pandemic, I tried to make activities online and it worked. I participated in (YLP-6) Youth leadership program supported by UNDP (united nation development program). I with a team from all over the delta region, collaborating and discussing ideas for businesses and entrepreneurs. Also, in 2020, I piratical participation on selling through joining( I-career startup ) its sales intern with practical training ( trying to sell an online ticket for what is called QUALIPHI summit ) Also, in 2020 I participated in virtual summer intern in pharmaceutical companies like Eva group limited, Sandoz and others. In 2021, I participated in multiple charities, which include the most famous one, resala in domiat Also, in 2021, like 2020 participated in a virtual summer internship in Sandoz and Ramada. My hobbies reading business books, playing online strategic games, some online and offline team games, and some endurance games within the gym like cycling and long-distance running. 2- Answer question 2, well, assuming that all human needs are taken care of like food, water, warmth, and rest may be for a limited time. According to Maslow’s hierarchy I need for now only to move to the next level to ensuring safety needs (security and safety ), so I need items that help me to make a safe place for me. So, I need items such as engineering items like(hammer, rope, and fishing rod any other parts from wrecked ship) and second item weapons (like guns, any sharp parts that can be used) Why? Well, I need to make at least a tent for protection, sleeping. I need engineering items to make a community for me to survive, and second items: weapons to ensure my safety from any external and internal threats, maybe there are other people can threaten me and any unexpected dangers ). 3- answer question 3, there are too many experiences, but I will take about a recent experience well during my fifth year in college. I was responsible with a team to make a graduation research project about the coronavirus. The problems I and my team had lacked information about the virus, non-cooperative team (everyone wants to make the other do his/her work as they all did in their previous year ) and the technical problems like lack of experience in making presentations from my team and lack computer knowledge like using MS bundle, etc. To through this problem, I make a plan divided into several segments. First, I need to make a collaborative team that all works. So, I put them into the reality that everyone will be asked even if I made the whole presentation myself and we evaluated together not build on me. Then I try to figure out with everyone why they don’t work. Some people were very nervous to make presentation, especially as we are going to make that in front of the head of the department. So, advising them to make good concise information and rehearse with their friend. The second problem is about knowledge to make, such as word or PowerPoint file just to get reviewed with a problem about how to research and download extracting information from certain researchers from scientific journals. So, no problem with it I just make a demonstration in front of them about how to make a simple word file and how to find and download certified research. Additional steps from me, I divided their work into small, different tasks and ask every two to work together to finish one small task per week. Finally, after 3 months the research was completed and reviewed perfectly with a review from our supervisor.
1- hello my name is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Zeyad
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ehab
abed. I am a fresh graduate of the faculty of pharmacy, credit hour system, Horus university in Egypt (HUE) with a total GBA = high
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
with a degree of honor (3. 69 of 4).

From 2016 to 2019 I participate in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
GTARCADE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
(a multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on google play and
If you mean the Apple digital distribution platform, use "App Store". For Amazon, use "Amazon Appstore".
Appstore
)

As a translator, secretary, and moderator (translating English content and adjust it according to Arabic culture, recording minutes of meetings with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
moderators and suggesting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
’ names, forms, and when to publish this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
to achieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sales within
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)


Also
, in 2019 In Horus university making a campaign in the university field and raising awareness about pancreatic diseases.

In 2020, due to the pandemic, I tried to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
activities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and it worked. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participated
in (YLP-6) Youth leadership program supported by
Possible spelling mistake found.
UNDP
(united nation development program). I with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
from all over the delta region, collaborating and discussing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
for businesses and entrepreneurs.

Also
, in 2020, I piratical participation on selling through joining
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
I-career startup
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
its sales intern with practical training
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
trying to sell an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
ticket for what
is called
Possible spelling mistake found.
QUALIPHI
summit
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)


Also
, in 2020 I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participated
in virtual summer intern in pharmaceutical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
like Eva group limited,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sandoz
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.

In 2021, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participated
in multiple charities, which include the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
one,
Possible spelling mistake found.
resala
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
domiat


Also
, in 2021, like 2020
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participated
in a virtual summer internship in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sandoz
and Ramada.

My hobbies reading business books, playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
strategic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and offline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
endurance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
within the gym like cycling and long-distance running.

2- Answer question 2, well, assuming that all human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
are taken
care of like food, water, warmth, and rest may be for a limited time.

According to Maslow’s hierarchy I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to the
next
level to ensuring safety
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
(security and safety
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a safe place for me.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
such as engineering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
like(hammer, rope, and fishing rod any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
parts from wrecked ship) and second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
weapons (like guns, any sharp parts that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
)

Why? Well, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
at least a tent for protection, sleeping. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
engineering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a community for me to survive, and second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
: weapons to ensure my safety from any external and internal threats, maybe there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can threaten me and any unexpected
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
.

3- answer question 3, there are too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
experiences,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I will take about a recent experience well during my fifth year in college. I was responsible with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a graduation research project about the coronavirus.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
I and my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
had lacked information about the virus, non-cooperative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
(everyone wants to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
do his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as they all did in their previous year
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
and the technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
like lack of experience in making presentations from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
and lack computer knowledge like using MS bundle, etc.

To through this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a plan divided into several segments.
First
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a collaborative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
that all works.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I put them into the reality that everyone will
be asked
even if I made the whole presentation
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
myself and
we evaluated together not build on me. Then I try to figure out with everyone why they don’t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
nervous to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
presentation,
especially
as we are going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
that in front of the head of the department.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, advising them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
concise information and rehearse with their friend.

The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is about knowledge to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
, such as word or PowerPoint file
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
reviewed with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
about how to research and download extracting information from certain researchers from scientific journals.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
with
Consider adding a comma here.
it
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a demonstration in front of them about how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a simple word file and how to find and download certified research.

Additional steps from me, I divided their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
tasks and ask every two to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
together to finish one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
task per week.

Finally
, after 3 months the research
was completed
and reviewed
perfectly
with a review from our supervisor.
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IELTS essay background of my background, academic activity and etc.

Essay
  American English
15 paragraphs
728 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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