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Nowadays, females are being recruited in armed forces and security agencies whereas these sort of jobs are traditionally fixed fro male genders. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Nowadays, females are being recruited in armed forces and security agencies whereas these sort of jobs are traditionally fixed fro male genders. v. 2
The twenty-first century is not only known well for its innovations but the changes in gender-specific roles can be observed. Nowadays, there is hardly any field in which females are not participating. Are women just supposed to work in the role that generally considers easy? Shouldn' t have they equal rights to take part in rough tough jobs? A heated debated has been started on this topic among some groups and I will discuss in this essay why ladies should have equal rights and capabilities to participate in any field. To begin with, the traditional roles of Intelligence agencies and defense forces, the main participants of war, are not limited to borders and field presences. The dynamics of wars and rules to rule the world are changed entirely as it was considered in past. It is well known that wars, which once were considered fundamental to destroy an enemy, now has taken different directions and moved from grounds to minds. For an instance, now countries with great technology, robust database, innovative spy invents are ruling the world instead of strong forces. Additionally, women are getting themselves recognized in research and IT field. According to research, females are more innovative and have a greater role in the development of technology than males. This factor makes their participation inevitable in military and security institutes. To conclude, the modification in the requirements of these institutes roles have not just opened the doors of opportunities for females in forces but their intelligence has made their involvement inevitable.
The twenty-
first
century is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
known well for its innovations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in gender-specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roles
can
be observed
. Nowadays, there is hardly any field in which females are not participating. Are women
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
supposed to work in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
that
generally
considers easy?
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shouldn&
#039; t have they equal rights to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in rough tough jobs? A heated debated has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
on this topic among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
groups and I will discuss in this essay why ladies should have equal rights and capabilities to participate in any field.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roles
of Intelligence agencies and defense forces, the main participants of war, are not limited to borders and field presences. The dynamics of wars and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
the world are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
entirely
as it
was considered
Did you mean: "in the past"?
in past
. It is well known that wars, which once
were considered
fundamental to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
an enemy,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
has taken
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
directions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
from grounds to minds. For an instance,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
countries with great technology, robust database, innovative spy invents are ruling the world
instead
of strong forces.

Additionally
, women are getting themselves recognized in research and IT field. According to research, females are more innovative and have a greater
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in the development of technology than males. This factor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their participation inevitable in military and security institutes.

To conclude
, the modification in the requirements of these institutes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roles
have not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
opened the doors of opportunities for females in forces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their intelligence has made their involvement inevitable.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, females are being recruited in armed forces and security agencies whereas these sort of jobs are traditionally fixed fro male genders. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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