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Nowadays, families move to different countries for work. Some people think it has a negative effect on children, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.5

Nowadays, families move to different countries for work. Some people think it has a negative effect on children, while others disagree. v. 5
These days, there is a growing trend of families moving to various foreign countries in search of work. Some people argue this could have negative impacts on children. However, I think moving abroad to endeavor results in their children’s exposing to foreign education systems and cultures. From one side, a family moving abroad to job can cause some problems. First, taking children to other countries would have a negative impact on child psychology. To illustrate this, kids could take a long time to integrate into a new environment and culture, since they have to leave their close friends and family members contributing to their loneliness and homesickness. Second, learning a new language could be the biggest barrier to them. When they go to school in a foreign country, they could not be able to keep up with academic and linguistic ability of their new classmates. When their ability to acquire knowledge is decreased due to the language barrier at the beginning, this would lead them to feel stressed and disappointed in themselves. On the other hand, working overseas and taking all their children to live with could bring various benefits to them. For one thing, working abroad would offer them better working opportunity to earn money and raise their child better. As a result, their families’ living standards and monthly salary would be improved, especially for those living in undeveloped countries. Therefore, their children will have a better living condition to develop. In addition, going to another country assist their kids to have a better education system. For example, some Vietnamese people move to many developed countries, because the school curriculum will help their children to enhance their knowledge and skills completely. This leads their kids to having a better future career when they grow up. In conclusion, an increasing number of people migrating overseas to work are increasing these days, and they mostly bring their families to these countries. In my opinion, this contributes to more benefits to their children’s future if they can overcome the difficulties at the beginning.
These days, there is a growing trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
moving to various foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in search of work.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue this could have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
moving abroad to endeavor results in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
exposing to foreign education systems and cultures.

From one side, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
moving abroad to job can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems.
First
, taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
would have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on child psychology. To illustrate this, kids could take a long time to integrate into a new environment and culture, since they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their close friends and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members contributing to their loneliness and homesickness. Second, learning a new language could be the biggest barrier to them. When they go to school in a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, they could not be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with academic and linguistic ability of their new classmates. When their ability to acquire knowledge
is decreased
due to the language barrier at the beginning, this would lead them to feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and disappointed in themselves.

On the other hand
, working overseas and taking all their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with could bring various benefits to them. For one thing, working abroad would offer them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
working opportunity to earn money and raise their child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
.
As a result
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families’
living standards and monthly salary would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
,
especially
for those living in undeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Therefore
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
living condition to develop.
In addition
, going to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
assist their kids to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
education system.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Vietnamese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the school curriculum will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to enhance their knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
completely. This leads their kids to having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
future career when they grow up.

In conclusion
, an increasing number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
migrating overseas to work are increasing these days, and they
mostly
bring their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. In my opinion, this contributes to more benefits to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
future if they can overcome the difficulties at the beginning.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, families move to different countries for work. Some people think it has a negative effect on children, while others disagree. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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