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Nowadays families are not close as they used to be in the past. Why is this happening? What are the solutions according to you to improve family relationships?

Nowadays families are not close as they used to be in the past. Why is this happening? What are the solutions according to you to improve family relationships? gbjpA
Good relationship with families are most important to everyone life, but nowadays, this relationship has reduced because of many reason. This essay I will discuss some solutions for improve family relationship. To begin with, nowadays, all family members are working, so everyone has hectic schedule due to work load, in the past time the only one or two person work in the family so they are closed, this is one reason of families are not close as they close earlier. Moreover, due to technological advancement people connect with social media who are not close, but people spend their time on it, do not spend their time with family and avoid communication with family. To continue, I thi this modern era people want to live in nuclear families because of modern life style, for instance, new married couple like ti live separate to the family, they wanted to do everything they like. , their choices are different to their family, this is another reason for families are not close as they earlier. To overcome this, the organization arrange some family problems on holidays, so they spend their quality time with their family and make close relation with them. Moreover people create plan for trip with family, and spend holidays with them, everyday people communicate with all family members in their free time, so this are solutions for improve family relationship. To conclude, people should spend their free time or holidays with the whole family members. Good relationship with family important to everyone life.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
with
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families
are most
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important
to everyone life,
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but
nowadays, this
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relationship
has
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reduced
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because
of
Possible agreement error. The noun reason seems to be countable; consider using: "many reasons".
many reason
. This essay I will discuss
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some
solutions for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
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family
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relationship
. To
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begin
with, nowadays, all
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family
members are working,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
everyone has hectic schedule due to work load, in the past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one or two person work in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
are closed
, this is one reason of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are not
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close
as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
close
earlier.
Moreover
, due to technological advancement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
connect with social media who are not
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close
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on it, do not
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spend
their
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time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and avoid communication with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. To continue, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
thi
this modern era
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people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in nuclear
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families
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of modern life style,
for instance
, new married couple like ti
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
separate to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, they wanted to do everything they like.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
their choices are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, this is another reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
close
as they earlier. To overcome this, the organization arrange
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
problems on holidays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
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close
relation with them.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
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people
create plan for trip with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, and
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spend
holidays with them, everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
communicate with all
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family
members in their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
The verb 'are' is plural. Did you mean "these are", "this is" or "this was"?
this are
solutions for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
.
To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
or holidays with the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relationship
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to everyone life.
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IELTS essay Nowadays families are not close as they used to be in the past. Why is this happening? What are the solutions according to you to improve family relationships?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
252 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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