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Nowadays families are not as close as they were in the past.What are the causes of the problem and solutions.

Nowadays families are not as close as they were in the past. What are the causes of the problem and solutions. bQ9Gq
These days families are becoming so distant compared to the previous years when they used to be close. This essay will explain reasons and give some relevant steps to mitigate the problem. It is believed that in today's world families are not immediate ad they used to be in the past. Nowadays, a vast majority of individuals lead busy lifestyle which means they are working or studying a lot. Modern generation tries to live in a wealthy life due to which they are making hard work. Moreover, now the authorities give more opportunities for their citizens to earn a lot by offering workplaces compared to the past where only few jobs were available to work. For example, numereous companies have been built in recent years which employes thousands of members each day; as a result, employment system has increased more than ever before leading workers to hectic lifestyle. However, staffs busy lifestyle oftentimes keeps them from spending time with their family members which in turn leads to issues in relationships with family members. Although busy employees are struggling to maintain their both professional and personal life, there a plethora of ways which can be applied to overcome the problem. First, workplaces need to put flexible schedules for their staffs so that those employees have enough time to work as well as to be with their family members. Besides, workers should be given at least a month vacation each year in order to be with their families. For instance, most individuals in my hometown take a month off for they take a rest and be with their family members. As a result, those people have close-knit families and healthy relationship. In conclusion, because of the tight schedule, quite a few people fail to have an immediate family in comparison to the past. Despite the current problem, there are some steps that are need to be taken to get rid of this issue.
These days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are becoming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
distant compared to the previous years when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be close. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
reasons and give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
relevant steps to mitigate the problem.

It
is believed
that in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are not immediate ad they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be in the past. Nowadays, a vast majority of individuals lead busy lifestyle which means they are working or studying a lot. Modern generation tries to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a wealthy life due to which they are making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the authorities give more opportunities for their citizens to earn a lot by offering workplaces compared to the past where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
few jobs were available to work.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
numereous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have
been built
in recent years which
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "employs", the plural form of the noun 'employ'?
employes
thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
each day;
as a result
, employment system has increased more than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
leading workers to hectic lifestyle.
However
, staffs busy lifestyle oftentimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
them from spending time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
which in turn leads to issues in relationships with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.

Although busy employees are struggling to maintain their both professional and personal life, there a plethora of ways which can
be applied
to overcome the problem.
First
, workplaces need to put flexible schedules for their staffs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that those employees have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to work
as well
as to be with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
.
Besides
, workers should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
at least a month vacation each year in order to be with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
For instance
, most individuals in my hometown take a month off for they take a rest and be with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
.
As a result
, those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have close-knit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and healthy relationship.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the tight schedule, quite a few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
fail to have an immediate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
in comparison
to the past. Despite the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
problem, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps that
are need
to
be taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of this issue.
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IELTS essay Nowadays families are not as close as they were in the past. What are the causes of the problem and solutions.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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