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Nowadays everybody desires to have his own car. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Nowadays everybody desires to have his own car. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? ebLkO
In the present scenario, a car is wanted by every person. From my perspective, although it has some advantages such as convenient for people, the drawbacks of this can not be ignored. To begin with, it is extremely easy for the people to go to anywhere by having their own car. Even though, not only they can move freely but also without any restriction. Due to this, if they have this facility, then they could be able to utilise their time to cover long distance within few hours. For example, in a survey it is noted that the person who have their personal vehicle have freedom to travel anywhere at anytime. Therefore, this trend, as a result, have some benefits for the people. However, is owning a car have some disadvantages? Certainly there are some. The air pollution is the drawback behind this trend. Because of numerous cars, the pollution can be increased and that will affect the environment which is harmful for the survival of people. For instance, in 2008 one research shows that China faces number of environmental issues because the use of personal cars. Thus, cons are also there. To conclude, though it has some pros and cons whereas according to my opinion, it is useful for the people for their travel.
In the present scenario, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
is wanted
by every person. From my perspective, although it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages such as convenient for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the drawbacks of this can not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is
extremely
easy for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to go to anywhere by having their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
.
Even though
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
freely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
without any restriction. Due to this, if they have this facility, then they could be able to
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
their time to cover long distance within few hours.
For example
, in a survey it
is noted
that the person who have their personal vehicle have freedom to travel anywhere at anytime.
Therefore
, this trend,
as a result
, have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
,
The verb 'owning' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
is owning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages?
Certainly
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
. The air pollution is the drawback behind this trend.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, the pollution can
be increased
and that will affect the environment which is harmful for the survival of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, in 2008 one research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that China faces number of environmental issues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
.
Thus
, cons are
also
there.
To conclude
, though it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pros and cons whereas according to my opinion, it is useful for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for their travel.

IELTS essay Nowadays everybody desires to have his own car. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
215 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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