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Nowadays, criminals commit crime for the second time as soon as they are released

Nowadays, criminals commit crime for the second time as soon as they are released 1bw57
When perpetrators free from jail, they are committing another crime. In my opinion, the government should introduce practical and rehabilitation courses in prison and society also accept culprit and especially employers should not avoid to hire convicted persons. This essay will not only highlight the problem but also present some sollutions to resolve it. Firsly, the reason for re-offending is that nations do not pay attention criminals. Prisons are a place where criminals congregate and influence each other poorly, while should be a place where offenders can understand bad effect of their behaviours to themselves and society with help of psychological support and gain new habits that can help them find employment after conviction. Secondly, the attitude toward ex-convicts by the individuals is not right at all. Although every person deserve a second chance, society do not believe that prisoners can change. This makes it tough for perpetrators to inhabit among people, find work and live as human being. These factors leave ex-convicts no choice but to break a law. Nevertheless, solutions exist to combat this potentially dangerous problem. The solution should start with criminals must be encouraged to rehabilitation programs to avoid anti-social attitude. At the result, those programs should help them make the right choices in society. Moreover, governments should provide new employments for prisoners. Because the main problem of criminals is not having money to live, and this is the main reason they commit crimes. If job opportunities are provided to them, we will eliminate the main reason for them to commit crimes again. In conclusion, the problem of committing crimes again by ex-convicts will hardly be solved unless necessary measures are taken by rehabilitation courses during conviction and new job opportunities.
When perpetrators free from jail, they are committing another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. In my opinion, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should introduce practical and rehabilitation courses in prison and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
also
accept culprit and
especially
employers should not avoid to hire convicted persons. This essay will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
highlight the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
present
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
sollutions
to resolve it.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Firsly
, the reason for re-offending is that nations do not pay attention
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
. Prisons are a place where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
congregate and influence each other
poorly
, while should be a place where offenders can understand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect of their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
to themselves and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of psychological support and gain new habits that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them find employment after conviction.
Secondly
, the attitude toward ex-convicts by the individuals is not right at all. Although every person deserve a second chance,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
do not believe that prisoners can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it tough for perpetrators to inhabit among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, find work and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
as human being. These factors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
ex-convicts no choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to break a law.

Nevertheless
, solutions exist to combat this
potentially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. The solution should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be encouraged
to rehabilitation programs to avoid anti-social attitude. At the result, those programs should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the right choices in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should provide new employments for prisoners.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
is not having money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, and this is the main reason they commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. If job opportunities
are provided
to them, we will eliminate the main reason for them to commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
again.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
again by ex-convicts will hardly
be solved
unless necessary measures
are taken
by rehabilitation courses during conviction and new job opportunities.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, criminals commit crime for the second time as soon as they are released

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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