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“Internet technology means that people no longer need to travel to foreign countries to understand other people’s lives.” To what extend do you agree or disagree.

“Internet technology means that people no longer need to travel to foreign countries to understand other people’s lives. ” GWO7L
In the internet age, it seems to have no distance between people and we can easily connect with many countries over the world. It has recently been argued that everyone can comprehend the daily life of foreigners earlier without going abroad but with the help of internet network. Personally, I completely disagree with this idea because overseas travel allow us know many things that internet do not display for us. Firstly, empirical feeling is sought when we travel in reality, especially go to unfamiliar nations. In travel websites, they give us feedback, review and information about popular tourist destinations such as cultures, customs, foods or people. . . by many lively videos and pictures. However, if we remain stationary, we will not have our own experience or feeling of interacting with new people, setting foot on foreign countries or touching beautiful things. Besides, internet can not bring the taste and smell of international cuisine that can be done by travelling. When we travel to other country, we will have an overall view of foreigner’s life, observe them more accurately and we can participate directly in their daily activities to understand more their culture. Secondly, travelling actually broadens our horizons about foreign countries which internet has not mentioned before. People’s lives in different countries are reflected in many ways that depend on notions of different people. Despite the internet supplies a lot of useful knowledge of foreign countries but it is not enough while the outside world still has many undiscovered things. Additionally, each person who we met has distinct condition or individual life. In other words, foreigners will bring us new understanding through their stories and give us deeper view on their life. The internet is not able to embrace all of aspects in the world; therefore, we should make a tour to enlarge our looking about other people’s lives. In conclusion, the genuine journeys is the prior way to find a real sense of adventure and expand our grasp of other people’s life than virtual tour on the internet when we want to visit foreigner’s cultures. Nevertheless, the internet has also many benefits for such as cheaper costs, saving time and more convenient… Therefore, it is rely on condition and preference of each person to choose types of tourism.
In the internet age, it seems to have no distance between
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
we can
easily
connect with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
over the world. It has recently
been argued
that everyone can comprehend the daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreigners
earlier without going abroad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of internet network.
Personally
, I completely disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
us know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things
The verb 'do' is plural. Did you mean: "that internet does"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
that internet do
not display for us.

Firstly
, empirical feeling
is sought
when we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
in reality,
especially
go to unfamiliar nations. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
websites, they give us feedback, review and information about popular tourist destinations such as cultures, customs, foods or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
lively videos and pictures.
However
, if we remain stationary, we will not have our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience or feeling of interacting with new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, setting foot on foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
or touching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
things.
Besides
, internet can not bring the taste and smell of international cuisine that can
be done
by travelling. When we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, we will have an
overall
view of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreigner’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, observe them more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
accurately and
we can participate
directly
in their daily activities to understand more their culture.

Secondly
, travelling actually broadens our horizons about foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which internet has not mentioned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are reflected
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways that depend on notions of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Despite the internet supplies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
useful knowledge of foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
while the outside world
still
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
undiscovered things.
Additionally
, each person who we met has distinct condition or individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreigners
will bring us new understanding through their stories and give us deeper view on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The internet is not able to embrace
Consider using "all aspects" or "all of the aspects".
all of aspects
in the world;
therefore
, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a tour to enlarge our looking about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
, the genuine journeys is the prior way to find a real sense of adventure and expand our grasp of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
than virtual tour on the internet when we want to visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreigner’s
cultures.
Nevertheless
, the internet has
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for such as cheaper costs, saving time and more convenient…
Therefore
, it is
Consider using a past participle here: "relied".
rely
on condition and preference of each person to choose types of tourism.
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IELTS essay “Internet technology means that people no longer need to travel to foreign countries to understand other people’s lives. ”

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
380 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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