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My favourite and best weekend that I've had

My favourite and best weekend that I've had 52X9D
Weekends are the day when we all rest from our daily activities, work, studies, and responsibilities and it's also a day which I enjoy because I get to have fun and do all kinds of activities that involves my family and friends. I enjoy every weekend that I had but one of them was my best weekend ever. Saturday was my first day of the weekend. I've had trouble getting up early every time but on the weekend I usually turn in late and also wake up late. As soon as I get up in the morning, I race off to check the time and take a nice warm shower. Until I've had my warm milk or water, I perk up and start breakfast. After finishing my breakfast, I head to the living room to watch TV or check my phone. After resting for a while, my parents and I head to a tiny gym in our house where we do exercises and when it's lunchtime our parents took us to Aeon Mall where we eat lunch there, shopping, watch a movie, etc, for the whole afternoon and when it's evening, my dad took us to a nice sushi restaurant for a wonderful dinner and when we went back home I get to sleepover at a friend's house. Right after getting permission, I race off to my friend's house. We spend time chatting, watching movies, and playing games to chill out and we turn in at 11 or 12. Sunday was the second day of my weekend, I didn't sleep well because I don't fall asleep easily in a different environment. I woke up before my friend so I race off to take a shower first and eat breakfast then when my friend wake up, we go for a bike ride and went to my parent's house. After that, my parents took me to a place with animals with a restaurant and a cafe near a pond. Whenever I go to a cafe, I always order hot chocolate or any chocolate drinks. we calm down and relaxed there and went to feed some animals like rabbits, birds. hedgehog and other animals as well and when we're done we went to this swimming pool around 4-6 o'clock to swim then we went back home while I feel burned out from the day so I decided to doze off for a few minutes then I take a shower and turn in at 9 o'clock since I have school the next day. In conclusion, this is the best weekend I ever had because I get to do tons of different activities and get to hang out with my friend, and since my parents are strict about me hanging out or having a sleepover with my friend, I'm glad to finally get to do it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Weekends
are the day when we all rest from our daily activities, work, studies, and responsibilities and it's
also
a day which I enjoy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to have fun and do all kinds of activities that involves my family and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. I enjoy every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weekend
that I had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one of them was my best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weekend
ever. Saturday was my
first
day of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weekend
. I've had trouble getting up early every time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weekend
I
usually
turn in late and
also
wake up late. As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
up in the morning, I race
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
off
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the time and take a nice warm shower. Until I've had my warm milk or water, I perk up and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
breakfast. After finishing my breakfast, I head to the living room to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
my phone. After resting for a while, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and I head to a tiny gym in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
where we do exercises and when it's lunchtime our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
took us to
Possible spelling mistake. 'Aeon' is British English.
Aeon
Mall where we eat lunch there, shopping,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a movie, etc, for the whole afternoon and when it's evening, my dad took us to a nice sushi restaurant for a wonderful dinner and when we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
back home I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to sleepover at a friend's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
. Right after getting permission, I race
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
off
to my friend's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
. We spend time chatting, watching movies, and playing games to chill
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
out and
we turn in at 11 or 12. Sunday was the second day of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weekend
, I didn't sleep well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I don't fall asleep
easily
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
environment. I woke up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I race
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
off
to take a shower
first
and eat breakfast then when my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
wake up, we go for a bike ride and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
to my parent's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
. After that, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
took me to a place with animals with a restaurant and a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
near a pond. Whenever I go to a
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
, I always order hot chocolate or any chocolate drinks.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
calm down and relaxed there and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
to feed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
animals like rabbits, birds.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
hedgehog
and other animals
as well
and when we're done we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
to this swimming pool around 4-6 o'clock to swim then we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
back home while I feel burned out from the day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I decided to doze
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
off
for a few minutes then I take a shower and turn in at 9 o'clock since I have school the
next
day.
In conclusion
, this is the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weekend
I ever had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to do tons of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
activities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to hang out with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
, and since my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are strict about me hanging out or having a sleepover with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
, I'm glad to
finally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to do it.
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IELTS essay My favourite and best weekend that I've had

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
471 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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