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Nowadays children mostly spend time playing computer games rather than sports.

Nowadays children mostly spend time playing computer games rather than sports. 11gKA
Without shadow of doubt, technology has improve each and every aspect of individuals life especially in the term of games. Most of the offsprings spend quality of time to play electronic games than playing physical games. This essay not only highlight the trend of this development but also illustrate the drawbacks of playing digital games. Apparently, various factor make a section of people advocate that why children like to play electronic games than playing physical games. First and foremost reason behind this statement is parents busy with their work. To explain it more, in these days parents do not spend time with their kids rather than past because they become materialistic, they do not take care their little ones, in this way children are not like to play with others one's. A survey has conducted by children department of India which revealed that 35% children only like to play electronic games because parents do not spend time with them. As a result they become intrrovart parsonality, this trend this harmful for the development of the offsprings. Furthermore, others drawbacks of this trend. Chifly, it put negative impact on the offsprings health because they only spend time with playing electronic games then they face difficulties regarding their like obesity, backaches and other health issues. For example, if children play outdoor games than they easily mainten their health as compared to play electronic games. Henceforeth, it is not only put impact on the health but also children become lazy and stop the overall development. In conclusion, there is no doubt, video games are popular among the offsprings because by playing this kind of children donot use their energy but I think that this trend but the negative impact on the life of the offsprings.
Without shadow of doubt, technology has
Use past participle here: "improved".
improve
each and every aspect of individuals life
especially
in the term of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. Most of the
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. This essay not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
highlight the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
of this development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
illustrate the drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
digital games.

Apparently
, various factor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a section of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
advocate that why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
First
and foremost reason behind this statement is parents busy with their work. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it more, in these days parents do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their kids
rather
than past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they become materialistic, they do not take care their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
ones, in this way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
with others one's. A survey has conducted by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
department of India which revealed that 35%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
parents do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with them.
As a result
they become
Possible spelling mistake found.
intrrovart
Possible spelling mistake found.
parsonality
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
this harmful for the development of the
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
.

Furthermore
, others drawbacks of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chifly
, it put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "offsprings'" or "offspring's"?
offsprings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
then they face difficulties regarding their like obesity, backaches and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues.
For example
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
than they
easily
Possible spelling mistake found.
mainten
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Henceforeth
, it is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
put impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become lazy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the
overall
development.

In conclusion
, there is no doubt, video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are popular among the
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Possible spelling mistake found.
donot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their energy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the life of the
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays children mostly spend time playing computer games rather than sports.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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