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Write about the following topic. Some people find it preferable to shop in traditional stores. However, other people think it is preferable to shop online. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Some people find it preferable to shop in traditional stores. However, other people think it is preferable to shop online. XVeYE
These days, with the drastic development of technology, many people favor online shopping. While there are benefits when purchasing things online, I would support the idea that shopping in physical stores such as local markets or malls are more amusing and reliable. On the one hand, we can see that beside the fast and quickly service that buying things online is offering to their user, there are many others benefitcial things that customers can find when they are shopping online. For instance, the variety of products people can buy when they are purchasing online are very diverse since many things can be sold online including accessories, jewelry, or even technology and food. So it’s really convenience if people don’t have time to go out shopping as they could buy things at their own house. Furthermore, online shopping is a very effective method to buy things that aren’t available in some countries. Since there are international shipping service for customers. On the other hand, local market and malls brings customer a better trust which is a problem with online shopping since shopping in traditional store can let you to interact with the product so shoppers could see the quality and check if there are any issue with the package. Beside, while buying offline, the shop’s staff gives us a personalised attention and keeps us asking what you are liking. For example, when people get confused, the worker will recommend the customer which stubs will suited to them and which is not. And people love that attention and recommendation that they can never get while shopping online. In conclusion, while purchasing things online offer you many great benefit, shopping in a physical store should be a better method of shopping.
These days, with the drastic development of technology,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
favor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. While there are benefits when purchasing things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, I would support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in physical stores such as local markets or malls are more amusing and reliable.

On the one hand, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that beside the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and
quickly
service that buying things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is offering to their user, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitcial
things that customers can find when they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
For instance
, the variety of products
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
when they are purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
diverse since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things can
be sold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
including accessories, jewelry, or even technology and food.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it’s
really
convenience if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t have time to go out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effective method to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things that aren’t available in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries. Since there are international shipping service for customers.

On the other hand
, local market and malls brings customer a better trust which is a problem with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in traditional store can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
you to interact with the product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
shoppers could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the quality and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
if there are any issue with the package. Beside, while buying offline, the shop’s staff gives us a
Possible spelling mistake. 'personalised' is British English.
personalised
attention and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
us asking what you
The verb 'liking' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are liking
.
For example
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
confused, the worker will recommend the customer which stubs will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "suit"
suited
to them and which is not. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
that attention and recommendation that they can never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
online.

In conclusion
, while purchasing things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
offer you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
great benefit,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
in a physical store should be a better method of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
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IELTS essay Some people find it preferable to shop in traditional stores. However, other people think it is preferable to shop online.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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