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nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements. to what extend do you agree or disagree?

nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements. qV6Ar
Earning fortune and fame has been a runnin trend these days. Beautiness and money are playing vital role in becoming popular celebrities whereas the success and achievements are being ignored. However, this essay wil present some views in favour of this statement. To begin with, many people are spending alots of money to gain popularity. Though they lack some talent but due to their beautiness and fortune, some people are becoming celebrities. People with special talent are not valued untill they are willing to spend alot of money. Because of this trend, talented people who had achieved a great fan and success arenot getting chance to express their feelings as a result industry is lacking good and talented celebrities in search of beautiful and wealthy people. similarly, praising celebrities for their glamour and money will definately fade away after certain time but praising them for their talent, success, and achievements will never fade away till the end. In addition to that, when celebrities are made famous for their achievements, they can boarden the horizons of their life as well as the country. For instance, the celebrities from the past are popular for their achievements and success which is why they are still popularjust for their achievements not for their face and money. Despite their death, their photos are kept in ever corner of the country but todays celebrities are famous because of their money and also are fading away when they lack attractiveness and money. Hence it is obvious why many are in favour of this trend. From what has been discussed above, it can unargueably be concluded that celebrities should be praised for their achievements which last till the end rather than for their beauty and wealth.
Earning fortune and fame has been a
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runnin
trend these days.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Beautiness
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
are playing vital role in becoming popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achievements
are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
However
, this essay
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wil
present
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some
views in
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favour
of this statement. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are spending
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alots
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to gain popularity. Though they lack
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
talent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
due to their
Possible spelling mistake found.
beautiness
and fortune,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
with special talent are not valued
Possible spelling mistake found.
untill
they are willing to spend
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Because of this
trend, talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who had achieved a great fan and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
Possible spelling mistake found.
arenot
getting chance to express their feelings
as a result
industry is lacking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
in search of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
and wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
similarly
, praising
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celebrities
for their glamour and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will
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definately
fade away after certain time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
praising them for their talent,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achievements
will never fade away till the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.
In addition
to that, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achievements
, they can
Possible spelling mistake found.
boarden
the horizons of their life
as well
as the country.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
from the past are popular for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achievements
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
which is why they are
still
Possible spelling mistake found.
popularjust
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achievements
not for their face and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Despite their death, their photos are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in ever corner of the country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
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celebrities
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
also
are fading away when they lack attractiveness and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
it is obvious why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
are in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of this trend. From what has
been discussed
above, it can
Possible spelling mistake found.
unargueably
be concluded
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
should
be praised
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achievements
which last till the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
rather
than for their beauty and wealth.
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IELTS essay nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
288 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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