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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth rather than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To What extent do you agree or disagree?

In this era, people are most likely to be influenced by the famous people or celebrities because of the high glamour maintenance and wealthy outlook, I completely agree with the statement that it posess bad examples to young people Firstly, The people of this generation are more agile to the bad influences, they pretend to be someone else rather than being who they are and one major factor that brainwash them are the welthy people who areflamboyant and throw lavish parties in their massive villas drive expensive rides and going to extraodinary trips, By looking at these thing a lot of people want to live their life as good as the celebrities despite of how much money they earn, This changes the way how people think which causes them to spend money they earn rather than saveing or investing on oneself. secondly, The youth are the most effected, by observing the famous they follow exactly what the famous do from their hair style to dress style it will change the whole prospective, the amatures starts to think that earing money is the key to every thing including happiness the point they are missing is the hardwork and time spent on the goal to achive it, This is exatly what the this generation is missing, they wnat every thing to be done in ease and do not want to come out of their comfort zone instead of learning leassons from the celeb how much hard work they have done to achive their goal. In conclusion, showing glamour and wealth of the rich apart of their achivements will be bad examples to the youth and change the prospective of the young people
In this era,
people
are most likely to
be influenced
by the
famous
people
or celebrities

because
of the high glamour maintenance and wealthy outlook, I completely
agree
with the statement that it
posess
bad
examples to young
people


Firstly
, The
people
of this generation are more agile to the
bad
influences, they pretend to be someone else
rather
than being who they are and one major factor that brainwash them are the
welthy
people
who
areflamboyant
and throw lavish parties in their massive villas drive expensive rides and going to
extraodinary
trips, By looking at
these thing
a lot of
people
want to
live
their life as
good
as the celebrities
despite of
how much money they earn, This
changes
the way how
people
think
which causes them to spend money they earn
rather
than
saveing
or investing on oneself.

secondly
, The youth are the most effected, by observing the
famous
they follow exactly what the
famous
do from their
hair style
to dress style it will
change
the whole prospective, the
amatures
starts
to
think
that
earing
money is the key to every thing including happiness the point they are missing is the
hardwork
and time spent on the goal to
achive
it, This is
exatly
what
the this
generation is missing, they
wnat
every thing to
be done
in
ease
and do not want to
come
out of their comfort zone
instead
of learning
leassons
from the celeb how much
hard
work they have done to
achive
their goal.

In conclusion
, showing glamour and wealth of the rich
apart of
their
achivements
will be
bad
examples to the youth and
change
the prospective of the young
people
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IELTS essay Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth rather than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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