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Nowadays celebrities are famous for their glamour and wealth for their achievements, and this a set a bad example for many young people? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays celebrities are famous for their glamour and wealth for their achievements, and this a set a bad example for many young people? Jjr0
The youngster is the quick learner because they are very passionate do the work. They go with the trend and they get easily influenced by the people. The best influencer is the celebrities owing to the fact that they are extremely active on social media, newspaper, etc. I agree to a great extent with the opinion expressed that many teens admire famous people who can be a bad influence. To begin with, few people believe that the following sports person, famous people portray a negative influence on youth. To some extent, it is right because they are playing a negative role like (villain or terrorist or drug addict) in reality shows or in the movie for some toddler the celebrities are the role model for them they follow their footprint. Moreover, celebrities are often found in smoking advertisements, charged with drugs, and other criminal activities sometimes youth also do this due to the fact that the adolescent spoils their life. For instance, Sanjay Dutt, Bollywood Actor is well known for his money and roles as a villain, his terrorist acts in different movies have given rise to violence and crime in the streets of Mumbai, all these were committed by adolescents for thrill and adventure. However, most of the celebrities are involved in the intake of alcohol and drugs and media shows on the news channel or in the newspaper. On the contrary. youth influenced in a negative way they think that if celebrities do then we can also do this thing. Another point to showcase, sometimes people become celebrities in one day. One of the best illustrations is: Tictok app was the social media platform were used to make a variety of short-form videos, from genres like dance, comedy, and education, that have a duration from fifteen seconds to one minute. By making a video the company was giving money. It influenced youth in a negative way people are thinking that by making the video we can earn money. It is affecting minor educations. Teens thinks that it is the best and simple way to earn money. Some videos are containing negative content due to the fact of uneducated people or not having proper training for making videos. However, on the other hand, many celebrities are role models for the young people of society. Idealizing and treating them as their idol can help them to achieve their required goal in life. Their creativity, innovations, and skills inspire teens to bring a positive change in their life. For example, legendary Amir Khan, the famous Bollywood celebrity, is known for his inspirational and creative movies but not for his wealth or attractive personality. Adolescents copying his qualities and skills ought promoted strong morals in society. To put it in a nutshell, it is evident from the above analysis that celebrities can sometimes be a bad influence among our younger generation however, I also believe that celebrities have a wider duty to the public and especially to their younger followers to practice good behavior and set a good example.
The youngster is the quick learner
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
passionate do the work. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
trend and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
easily
influenced by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The best influencer is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
owing to the fact that they are
extremely
active on social media, newspaper, etc. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to a great extent with the opinion expressed that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
teens admire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the following sports person,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
portray a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
. To
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, it is right
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are playing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
like (villain or terrorist or drug addict) in reality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
or in the movie for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
toddler the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
model for them they follow their footprint.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
found in smoking advertisements, charged with drugs, and other criminal activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
also
do this due to the fact that the adolescent spoils their life.
For instance
, Sanjay
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dutt
, Bollywood Actor is well known for his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roles
as a villain, his terrorist acts in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
movies have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
rise to violence and crime in the streets of Mumbai, all these
were committed
by adolescents for thrill and adventure.
However
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are involved
in the intake of alcohol and drugs and media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
on the news channel or in the newspaper.
On the contrary
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
youth
influenced in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
way they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
do then we can
also
do this thing. Another point to showcase,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
in one day. One of the best illustrations is:
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tictok
app was the social media platform were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a variety of short-form
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
, from genres like dance, comedy, and education, that have a duration from fifteen seconds to one minute. By making a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
was giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. It influenced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are thinking that by making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
we can earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. It is affecting minor educations. Teens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that it is the best and simple way to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
The verb 'containing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are containing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
content due to the fact of uneducated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or not having proper training for making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
.
However
,
on the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
models for the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of society. Idealizing and treating them as their idol can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to achieve their required goal in life. Their creativity, innovations, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
inspire teens to bring a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in their life.
For example
, legendary Amir Khan, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Bollywood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
,
is known
for his inspirational and creative movies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not for his wealth or attractive personality. Adolescents copying his qualities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
ought promoted strong morals in society.

To put it in a nutshell, it is evident from the above analysis that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence among our younger generation
however
, I
also
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
have a wider duty to the public and
especially
to their younger followers to practice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
behavior and set a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example.

IELTS essay Nowadays celebrities are famous for their glamour and wealth for their achievements, and this a set a bad example for many young people?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
507 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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