Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Parents object to such pressure on children. But some advertisers claim that there is useful information in these advertisements. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Parents object to such pressure on children. But some advertisers claim that there is useful information in these advertisements. LB6mV
Currently, many companies tend to choose children as their target market to advertise their products. While some advertisers argue that these advertisements are informative, I personally believe that this marketing strategy negatively affects youngsters and their parents. On the one hand, there are some reasons to believe that advertisements aimed at children contain useful information. Firstly, thanks to commercials, parents may be aware of the products that are useful for their children. For example, some nutritious brands of milk are widely advertised on TV, which parents can consider buying for their children if they are confused by the wide variety of brands available in the market. Secondly, since advertisements often have creative content in order to get people’s attention, children can be interested in this marketing industry if they are exposed to advertisements regularly. As a result, they may work as an innovative advertiser when they grow up. On the other hand, I believe that choosing children as the target market to introduce products is harmful to both these individuals and their parents. As the young are inexperienced, they may fully believe that the information in advertisements is true. If they are attracted by these exaggerated commercials, they will be likely to insist their parents to buy them products which are unnecessary and sometimes even unhealthy. For instance, we can easily find advertisements of different brands of instant noodles and soft drinks either on TV or on the internet, and these consumption goods are often known as unhealthy. If they are advertised in an attractive way, youngsters will put pressure on their parents to buy them these things
Currently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
tend to choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as their target market to advertise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advertisers argue that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are informative, I
personally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that this marketing strategy
negatively
affects youngsters and their parents.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
aimed at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
contain useful information.
Firstly
, thanks to commercials,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
may be aware of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that are useful for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nutritious brands of milk are
widely
advertised on TV, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can consider buying for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
if they
are confused
by the wide variety of brands available in the market.
Secondly
, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have creative content in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s attention,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
be interested
in this marketing industry if they
are exposed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
regularly
.
As a result
, they may work as an innovative advertiser when they grow up.

On the other hand
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as the target market to introduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is harmful to both these individuals and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. As the young
are inexperienced
, they may
fully
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the information in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
is true. If they
are attracted
by these exaggerated commercials, they will be likely to insist their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which are unnecessary and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
even unhealthy.
For instance
, we can
easily
find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
brands of instant noodles and soft drinks either on TV or on the internet, and these consumption
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
known as unhealthy. If they
are advertised
Consider replacing "in an attractive way" with the adverb for "attractive"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an attractive way
, youngsters will put pressure on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them these
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
things
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Parents object to such pressure on children. But some advertisers claim that there is useful information in these advertisements.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts