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Nowadays a large amount of advertising aiming at children should be banned because of the negative effects. To what extend do you agree or disagree? v.6

Nowadays a large amount of advertising aiming at children should be banned because of the negative effects. v. 6
It is true that there are more and more advertising targeted on children nowadays. While some people argue that it should be banned, i do believe that these advertising have its own beneficials. On the one hand, there are a variety of reasons why advertising for kids should be banned. The first reason is that if they spent too much of their times on watching advertisements, the rest amount of time they have for others important activities, such as studying, would be shortened. Consequently, their learning results would be impacted detrimentally. Furthermore, it can lead to some health problems. If children keep their eyes glued to screens for several hours, waves from televisions, computers and wifi devices may cause headaches. On the other hand, i disagree with the idea that approve banning policies of advertisements on children. One reason is that watching advertisements on TV allows children broden their own knowledge straightforwardly and easier to remember. For example, the lively colour video of tree growth from a seed to mature body is the clear illustrate why kids remember this lesson. The another reason is it can play an integral part in build strong relationship between family ' s members. There are a lot of fun advertisements parents and their children can sit around together and watch, talk about the same interesting products advertised and find out their common points. Hence, the gap between generations would be narrowed. In conclusion, for the reasons mentioned above, i believe that advertising aimed on children should not be banned.
It is true that there are more and more advertising targeted on
children
nowadays. While
some
people
argue that it should
be banned
,
i
do believe that these advertising have its
own
beneficials
.

On the one hand, there are a variety of
reasons
why advertising for kids should
be banned
. The
first
reason
is that if they spent too much of their times on watching
advertisements
, the rest amount of time they have for others
important
activities, such as studying, would
be shortened
.
Consequently
, their learning results would
be impacted
detrimentally
.
Furthermore
, it can lead to
some
health problems. If
children
keep
their eyes glued to screens for several hours, waves from televisions, computers and
wifi
devices may cause headaches.

On the other hand
,
i
disagree with the
idea
that approve banning policies of
advertisements
on
children
. One
reason
is that watching
advertisements
on TV
allows
children
broden
their
own
knowledge
straightforwardly
and easier to remember.
For example
, the lively
colour
video of tree growth from a seed to mature body is the
clear
illustrate why kids remember this lesson. The another
reason
is it can play an integral part in build strong relationship between family ' s members. There are
a lot of
fun
advertisements
parents and their
children
can sit around together and
watch
, talk about the same interesting products advertised and find out their common points.
Hence
, the gap between generations would
be narrowed
.

In conclusion
, for the
reasons
mentioned above,
i
believe that advertising
aimed on
children
should not
be banned
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays a large amount of advertising aiming at children should be banned because of the negative effects. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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